Half-Life (Fiasco Day 7)

[Slim Fiasco]

LOF - viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146313

I’m the winner of the battle for middle earth
The reason why every beginner is feeling hurt
Got Nike's on my feet, I’m fighting on the beat
Making it sound as cool as a nineties urban hit
I’m a free man like Gordon, zombies on my tail
They oppose no threat though so they badly fail
Thinking they could kill me, but I always prevail
So yeah, you can tell that I’m something like CJ
Doing drive-by’s across town, killing every damn DJ
Owner of a stolen car, I fuck hoes at the back of bars
Something like Bad Santa, it’s clear I’m crazy from afar
Drinking every day, never thinking if I have enough to pay
But I always have a rough way to say: “Stay the fuck away”
Dressed in a skateboarding gear, standing as tall as a bear
I‘m the best of all worlds, imposing fear on those who stare
At this motherfucking genius who hasn’t even graduated yet
Not that he’s stupid, but being the batman takes time you brat

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Pretty good piece man, you definitely have the transitions down for the most part! I kind of felt like the rhyming at the beginning totally surpassed the rhyming at the end, although I think I did see a couple of multis at the end now that I look again!, any way, pretty good dude, stay at it, your definitely improving!

[Slim Fiasco]

Pretty good piece man, you definitely have the transitions down for the most part! I kind of felt like the rhyming at the beginning totally surpassed the rhyming at the end, although I think I did see a couple of multis at the end now that I look again!, any way, pretty good dude, stay at it, your definitely improving!

Thanks bro, and yeah I agree with you. I think the rhyming is better in the beginning lines, but this was another easy write so I didn't want to over-analyze it.

[Slim Fiasco]

"Doing drive-by’s across town, killing every damn DJ"

Reminded me of Hip Hop Is Dead which made me read this entire thing in Nas' voice. This is pretty good man I liked some references in there, I can't help but wonder which CJ did you mean tbh I didn't catch that. Good shit though man.

Haha, yeah, that definitely reminded me of that song as well. I meant Carl Johnson, the character from GTA San Andreas. And thanks for the feedback bro!

[Mr.DGAF]

Yeah, pretty much what everyone else has said. I liked the CJ reference, that was what I thought it was in the first place. I agree with Shady, this piece had better rhyming in the beginning. But you said it came naturally, and that's awesome. I love when the piece comes naturally, when the words just fit immediately.

[Slim Fiasco]

Yeah, pretty much what everyone else has said. I liked the CJ reference, that was what I thought it was in the first place. I agree with Shady, this piece had better rhyming in the beginning. But you said it came naturally, and that's awesome. I love when the piece comes naturally, when the words just fit immediately.

Me too bro, thanks for the feedback!