Spyder - Symbiotic (single)

[Spyder]

Symbiotic
new link of feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=143814&p=1928638#p1928638

First track of "The Late Night EP"
hope you enjoy..


Taught on the battle scene never scare fear none
If I fuck up rap to the beat of my snare eardrum
I’m cuttin dope lines with shavin razor blades
On my Kanye fuckin up shit that’s Taylor made!
Fuckin climb atop the Empire State building
And scream my name til the entire state feel it!
Sayin you pack a Cannon without the Carey womb
9 months to conceive, squeeze 9 once to bury you!!
Y’all put me to sleep so please spare me slumber
I wake up and smell the roses my opponents buried under!
Bomb shows with god flow though you all know
And put the 9 on your back like Rajon Rondo.
See you a combination of Jin and Tech when,
I throw punches with the shock of Jin from Tekken,
Dismembering you dude your whole crews shit
Just a notch on the bed knob from the old broomstick!!

Hook
Veins are some mic cords, game is my life source
Its hard to explain but ive taken the right course.
Symbiotic, heart and beat are in harmony
Using coded music notes shit is apart of me.

Amongst the fish in the sea I’m atop these silly fucks
Lone shark, collecting the bills of all you sitting ducks!
You’re flossin like that Colgate in your mouth
I blow frames like you Cobain-in yourself!
Bury the hatchet? I dig a ditch for my foes
Spit fire so ill only burn the bridge of your nose!!
Rippin syllable flow with instant control
Take the piss out my rhymes ill turn your kidneys to stone.
Criminal woes, known insane vandal
Crime scene without tape like Watergate scandal!!
If I put you to sleep it be the pearly gates
I’m a night owl given early birds early graves.
Lyrical power is something that you should know
Stomp all over your lyrics, I call it footnotes.
C’mon son who want some, I’m keen to battlin
Have u ingestin shells more than obese Italians.

Hook
Veins are some mic cords, game is my life source
Its hard to explain but ive taken the right course.
Symbiotic, heart and beat are in harmony
Using coded music notes shit is apart of me.

Symbiotic machine with the metal frame
Got lightning bolts flowin through my weather veins
Against me might as well start admittin you’d fail
Blind with rage bumps spell submission in Braille.
Bit drastic, I’m known as eccentric yeah
Barbwire crown throne is an electric chair!
Methods rare, and a little extreme huh
Gain knowledge from bookworms in my Tequila!!
Bitches wanna step up like you live danger
If you live on the edge I’ll make ya a cliffhanger!
I break the ice with violence give em a push
Bird on my hand so big I cant fit two in her bush
Fuck pats ill stab your back like Barraka
Have these hands slap his weak fans like Katana
You makin tracks about death and you carryin some dirt
Ima bring a new definition to buried in your work!!

Hook
Veins are some mic cords, game is my life source
Its hard to explain but ive taken the right course.
Symbiotic, heart and beat are in harmony
Using coded music notes shit is apart of me.

[TripleNineThree]

"if u get into grindtime id ghost for you...

or u can get me in there too hahah"

That's feedback?

By the way, I don't mean to be bashing you specifically. I'm just beginning to look at people LoF and honestly, the feedback on this forum is going to trash. There is only a few people who actually listen closely to others' songs and give feed.

[TripleNineThree]

Here's my feedback..

Delivery - Your delivery is good for the most part. I can feel your emotion but your delivery is also kind've awkward, it just doesn't seem as smooth as it should be to me. 7/10

Flow - This is okay but it could definately improve. You sound too much like Eminem but without a good flow. 6/10

Voice - Do you have an accent? I'm not a fan of your voice but if you have an accent it's probably just because I'm not use to it 6/10

Mixing - This could defintely improve. I can tell that you basically laid down raw vocals. You should experience with different EQs and reverbs to make the vocals sound more professional. The mixing sounds pretty amateur. - 6/10

Lyrics - As far as I could tell your lyrics were pretty decent and I enjoyed them - 7/10

Overall - 6.5/10 - Keep improving fam!

After my complaining about lack of feed, do you mind returning the feed? - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=146141

[B.A.D.]

yeah spyder, thats not valid feedback, PM me a link so I can open your thread again

[B.A.D.]

re-opened

[BigBoss]

3rd verse was my favourite because IMO it rhymed the most, I liked it.

re-opened

Youdontsay.jpg

[B.A.D.]

Youdontsay.jpg

copy/paste fail lol




anyway, I listened to the song and hmmm, there are good and bad things

good
your lyrics are pretti good, I like them a lot, very interesting as-well. You also have an above-average quality of sound, even if it could be improved its ok so far so big ups on that.

bad
there is no flow, you are not flowing to the beat, its very weird, you definitively have to work on that..

overall, I did liked the song, but yeah, u need more practice with the flow



"Gain knowledge from bookworms in my Tequila!!"

[Spyder]

ha glad u got that punch

and thanks for the quality praise.

and idk. bout the flow, im hitting the drums and adding more of a tempo with delivery like uve told me.
and thought that i had improved on flow as well.

[TripleNineThree]

Finding your flow just takes time. Whenever I'm in my car or basically alone, I'm always freestyling. I recommend this because it will help not only your freestyle skills but your flow will become more natural sounding and smooth.

[Mr.DGAF]

Obviously your lyrics are nice. But that's probably why you moved to audio haha, lyrics aren't a worry with you so why ask them to be fed? The second verse is the best on this song in terms of flow to the beat. For the other two verse, the flow was definitely a bit scattered. Some parts hurried and some parts drawn out to try and fit on the beat. Which, by the way, the beat is fucking banging. The hook is nice, that's probably the best part of this aside from verse 2. Oh, and the quality on this is really nice. That's actually probably the best thing on this. Really smooth transitions, and the ad-libs are really fun to listen to behind the track. The only problem I have with this is the flow really. I'm sure others can give you better advice on how to structure your flow, I don't know the technicalities to recording so I judge it soley off what I hear and how it sounds to me. That's the only thing to work on in my opinion man. But this is a large improvement, in my eyes, on the last couple tracks you've released. And that's really positive, it shows you're taking the feedback and working with it. Good stuff dude, I'll be peeping the next drop.

[Spyder]

hey thanks for the feed man, glad people think the quality and delivery are stepping up and ima try to work on the flow man

thanks for checking

[Solace]

Could you upload just a like 10-20 second clip of you normally speaking, because I don't know but something about your voice to me sounds like you're making fun of someone elses voice. Your flow is getting there but still really awkward, like your jumping around. Your chorus was pretty well structured but you didn't pull it off how I expected for the second. The fact that this is your best song yet is great. I don't really get why you're making an EP when you're not even good at the audio shit yet, but to each his own.

Veins are some mic cords, game is my life source
Its hard to explain but ive taken the right course.
Symbiotic, heart and beat are in harmony
Using coded music notes shit is apart of me.

Veins are some mic cords, game is my life source - Here it flowed perfect
It's hard to explain but I've taken the right course - You rushed taken the right course, it should have stretched out like game is my life source. You could have definitely intended this but I see no reason why anyone would, lol. The 2nd couplet is absolutely fine so I won't point that out.

You also have to be more consistent with your placing, 'cause your first last chorus (Like since each chorus is 8 lines and your chorus is 4 lines but it repeats once, the first of the two) was placed off beat (placed it too early). Just little things like that really matter.

[Sam.]

Could you upload just a like 10-20 second clip of you normally speaking, because I don't know but something about your voice to me sounds like you're making fun of someone elses voice. Your flow is getting there but still really awkward, like your jumping around.

I was wondering the same thing too, hah. I'm glad that Solace said it before me. Yeah man, you should definitely do that.

[Spyder]

haha no not making fun of anyone else some peeps said they liked my voice but to each his own.

and thanks for the feed and compliments man. and im just doing the EP instead of random songs here and there. idk i might just release em seperately but idk lol.

but i can upload a little clip of me talking, prob wont be til monday or so though.

but are u saying my voice is bad or just different? idc just needed clarification lol

[Solace]

haha no not making fun of anyone else some peeps said they liked my voice but to each his own.
but i can upload a little clip of me talking, prob wont be til monday or so though.

but are u saying my voice is bad or just different? idc just needed clarification lol

Alright, I can wait. And moreso different. When I hear you rap I could imagine you being some cartoony comic book villain. I don't even think I can explain it properly, just wanted to throw it out there lol.

and thanks for the feed and compliments man. and im just doing the EP instead of random songs here and there. idk i might just release em seperately but idk lol.

Yeah that's cool, whatever you feel suits your needs best