Catastrophic - Verba

[Eedee]

Eedee's LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146452&p=1937855#p1937855
DGAF's LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146448

*I'm back from vacation and promptly we worked on this for you guys. Hope you enjoy.

Eedee ; DGAF


Never take it for granted because writing can transform you
Whether places or habits show true life within or bores you.
No matter how tough it seems, there's always words to scream the pain,
So flattered how much we dream, still we work to team this game.
A sensation created akin to dating a rapist,
Because we're seeing the force like Obi raising a caped Sith.
Amazing is what we write, aiming for dropped pieces,
To take you above your life and gaze while your heart seizes.
While I tell you to "F" off like a botched thesis
All reasons for the harsh feelings like a deep scar peeling?
When we drop schemes that should awe people
But instead they start reeling. God, really?? Man, stop dreaming.
Rhymes abundant like the leaves that drop in the fall season,
And that's not to start beef but rather show that we're not leaving.
We're just gathered with these words like we live within a book,
And Saturn will look dwarfed all beside us when we get to work.

[Sam.]

Great mix up. Almost pulled a "WTH". You guys managed to keep the flow properly, but that one-one word spit can get difficult at times for the reader to comprehend. It's hard to imagine this type of back to back spit on the mic.

Anyways, Mr. rhymes were all perfect, including his multis. But, Eedee, my friend, your rhyming was weak for me, IMO, like the last bar for example.

Good job never the less.

[Wreck]

Eedee's LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146452&p=1937855#p1937855
DGAF's LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146448

*I'm back from vacation and promptly we worked on this for you guys. Hope you enjoy.

Eedee ; DGAF


Never take it for granted because writing can transform you
Whether places or habits show true life within or bores you.
No matter how tough it seems, there's always words to scream the pain,
So flattered how much we dream, still we work to team this game.
A sensation created akin to dating a rapist,
Because we're seeing the force like Obi raising a caped Sith.
Amazing is what we write, aiming for dropped pieces,
To take you above your life and gaze while your heart seizes.
While I tell you to "F" off like a botched thesis
All reasons for the harsh feelings like a deep scar peeling?
When we drop schemes that should awe people
But instead they start reeling. God, really?? Man, stop dreaming.
Rhymes abundant like the leaves that drop in the fall season,
And that's not to start beef but rather show that we're not leaving.
We're just gathered with these words like we live within a book,
And Saturn will look dwarfed all beside us when we get to work.

This was an interesting concept, never seen nothing like it before, because I've seen people doing collabs, like on here, with the Geno & Emadyville collab, where they go back & forth like you both did, but one line per person, whereas you guys sometimes went back & forth every couple of words, interesting/innovative idea there.

Was really feeling this though, some lines were multis, some weren't, but combined with the idea, it was good.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks guys. We were gonna do every other word for a full sixteen and rhyme entire bars, but after like the 4th line that kinda fell through haha. Kinda inspired, at least on my part, by Welcome To Hell. That last little part they did. But yeah, thanks for the feed guys, much appreciated.