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[Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

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[Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 15th, '13, 23:10

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Eedee LoF viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152772#p2088323
CanadaPure LoF viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152799#p2088658
Painkiller LoF viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152772#p2087757
EmTV LoF viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152712&start=15#p2086459
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Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFzwQ1sFQbI

[Eedee]
stuff my plate every fucking day, but here comes the rain,
I tucked my fate under pages of rhymes, I'm raising it, I'm
Being rushed away from the heaviness of everyday
I look beyond, but I need to steady this or never play.
They better not sink, ready for a mind bomb?
Inside's cold enough to keep the fucking ice calm.
Up here in Alaska, the frigid weather
Wished I'd never even think that my brainstorm isn't clever.
This tirade, it's my state: not feeling that I'm alive,
I'm a native to this pain, and I feel as if it's "diatribe".
Am I wrong to think that punches aren't my strong suit?
I'm much better at expressing everything I've gone through.
And they drop like bombs, dude, right in the face of
Every single particle of light implication.
Because the tunnel is at it's widest, and the white at it's farthest,
Shooting right for the stars and hit me right in the heart, shit.

[CanadaPure]
No need to try and decipher the lines of live deciples
Whether its knife or rifle we'll kill ourselves at rhyme recital,
Id like to thank to Satan, cause he picked me for this scheme
These sixteens'll leave you bones licked clean like Ed Gein
Maybe it seems like we created a satanist cult (shhhh)
We're not like that it's crazy, it's all the Atheists fault
While you're hiding from the violence we're sacrificing bison
When I come if you'd like to try some then the night is right son
Lighting up the nation of Illuminati , illumination
Predation cause by the right wing, its too soon to taste 'em
I taste some blood in my mouth, I might gut him look out
I'm here snuffing them out while you're being a spud on the couch
MacDaddy might wanna watch out or get his veins squirtin'
Offerings of virgins, hurt 'em, and one things certain
I got a tone of pride it seems, back to your bassinet
How can you speak on sweet sixteens when you ain't spat none yet?

[Painkiller]
Demonic with satanic Rituals is habitual
The chronic residual haunting be more than spiritual
As the voices inside your head begin to eat at you endlessly
Rending his mind, Confine him because his only friend is me
Fending for him Because I am him and he is I
Evil in the mind, his soul is mine and that is why
People must die, be sacrificed to a higher force
People laying in the dirt form bloodcurdling wars
Preparing for the hurt, a new family to murk
Two meat cleavers in hand as I begin to lurk
Found a home of a mother, father, and two little kids
Anchored in slaughtered 'em limb for limb into little bits
As I stand drenched in blood carrying out the remains
Buried them in the mud out in the ongoing rains
Hurried in to begin the ritual once again
A devil who's always on the hunt my friend


[EmTV]
Feel the torturous pound of evil spirits resonating inside my brain,
Hear the arduous shout as I cut my dick for the Olympics of Pain
Dang, admitting this shit is insane,
But what can I say?
I'm a psycho, Pre-determined to grow up insane,
I'm a psycho, Can't wait for the day that I blow up my brain
'Cause it IS fucking hard to maintain,
An average life when your brain says
You have the right to grab a knife, and stab ya' wife,
My definition of an average life is one that ends with strife and begins with rife,
I hate this plight, but it feels so right,
If the payoff is nights where I can write songs like "In the Air Tonight"
But with a darker sort of twist, Ghouls arms swarmed with cysts,
Shattered and torn up wrists, Battered and deformed small kids.
The clutter of bodies stapled on the shutters of trolleys,
The brother of Ozzy, Manson mixed with a Kami-ma-kaze.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Jan 15th, '13, 23:18

Wow, everybody did their thing on this, dope as hell.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 15th, '13, 23:19

I just noticed that EmTV reference the BME Pain Olympics. Lmfao.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby EmTV » Jan 15th, '13, 23:22

@CP Thanks. This was dope as fuck. Everybody did nicely.

I'ma wait for others' reception.


In the meantime, it's Jimmy Iovine time. :smoking:
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Jan 15th, '13, 23:41

Geno wrote:Pain, solid verse. Looks good to me. :y:

What am I suppose to do with this exactly? lol No tips/advice anything? ok.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby EmTV » Jan 15th, '13, 23:43

Geno wrote:Everyone killed it. Eedee's first few lines sounded exactly Hopsin to me for some reason. I dunno, but I could imagine him saying it.

Maybe it seems like we created a satanist cult (shhhh)
We're not like that it's crazy, it's all the Atheists fault


This part by CP made me laugh.

EmTV, work on your structure. The flow was a little confusing just because of how you broke up the lines. It was still a good verse though, it's just my fault for screwing up the flow lol.

Pain, solid verse. Looks good to me. :y:


Yeah. I think when I first wrote, I took the beat as slow, but halfway through I sped up. That double time flow.

But it's probably just the way I wrote it
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 15th, '13, 23:44

Geno wrote:Everyone killed it. Eedee's first few lines sounded exactly Hopsin to me for some reason. I dunno, but I could imagine him saying it.

Maybe it seems like we created a satanist cult (shhhh)
We're not like that it's crazy, it's all the Atheists fault


This part by CP made me laugh.

EmTV, work on your structure. The flow was a little confusing just because of how you broke up the lines. It was still a good verse though, it's just my fault for screwing up the flow lol.

Pain, solid verse. Looks good to me. :y:


Thanks Geno! I think that everyone really did a great job, this was also EmTV's first ever drop and I think it's pretty gutsy of him to jump right into a cypher where his work will be compared up against other people, especially someone like Eedee who's been around a while.

Thanks for the props on that Atheist line. I told someone I was Atheist once and they asked me if I worshiped Satan. Smh.

Hail Satan!
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Jan 15th, '13, 23:45

Geno wrote:
PAINKILLƎR wrote:
Geno wrote:Pain, solid verse. Looks good to me. :y:

What am I suppose to do with this exactly? lol No tips/advice anything? ok.

What area are you looking to improve on?

Multi's definitely and rhyme schemes and how were they in this verse in particular? (grade me)
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 15th, '13, 23:47

PAINKILLƎR wrote:Multi's definitely and rhyme schemes and how were they in this verse in particular? (grade me)


F-, suck a bag of dicks and see me after class. :wub: Just kidding boo, you know I love you.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Jan 15th, '13, 23:49

CanadaPure wrote:
PAINKILLƎR wrote:Multi's definitely and rhyme schemes and how were they in this verse in particular? (grade me)


F-, suck a bag of dicks and see me after class. :wub: Just kidding boo, you know I love you.

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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Jan 16th, '13, 00:09

Geno wrote:Well.. You rhymed a lot, but the trick is to also maintain a good train of thought and make sure you make sense. Let's go over the verse.

Demonic with satanic Rituals is habitual
The chronic residual haunting be more than spiritual


That's dope imo.

:flutter: Thank you.

Geno wrote:As the voices inside your head begin to eat at you endlessly
Rending his mind, Confine him because his only friend is me


Who are you referring to when you say "his" ? This is what I mean by making it make sense. I have a feeling you're talking about Satan / the devil, but it isn't 100% clear as you didn't introduce a character in your verse. Then again, it could be interpreted as Satan taking over the rap in this part and he's referring to you. See what I mean? lol. It all rhymes well though, but it's not enough.

Yeah I should have gotten more detail into this, what was meant is that I'm the "his" although it's Satan narrating the verse and him talking over my body. (if that makes sense)

Geno wrote:Fending for him Because I am him and he is I
Evil in the mind, his soul is mine and that is why


I'm not a fan of ending bars half way through a thought. I do it rarely, but it's only if I think it's absolutely fitting and there's nothing better I could say. I just think it screws up the flow and it sounds awkward. It doesn't exactly help your multies either since it's just a one syllable rhyme at the end. Your inner-rhymes are nice though. Try not to get overwhelmed and make everything rhyme though. I used to do it, and going back on my old stuff... it was just.. ugh. lol.

lol I was desperate here, and I couldn't get anything better together.

Geno wrote:People must die, be sacrificed to a higher force
People laying in the dirt form bloodcurdling wars
Preparing for the hurt, a new family to murk
Two meat cleavers in hand as I begin to lurk
Found a home of a mother, father, and two little kids
Anchored in slaughtered 'em limb for limb into little bits
As I stand drenched in blood carrying out the remains
Buried them in the mud out in the ongoing rains
Hurried in to begin the ritual once again
A devil who's always on the hunt my friend


It seems like you took a simpler route here, but I think the verse got a lot better by doing so. Keep it up.

Awesome, I was hoping for that tbh.

Thanks for the thorough feedback Geno, I really appreciate it man. :happy:
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 16th, '13, 02:18

InsaneTRex94 wrote:There's almost nothing else I can say after Geno's giant bit of feed. It was great, only way it coulda been better is if I was on it.

EmTV...did you take that Pain Olympics line from Hopsin?


Damn... That's a close call on whether he had it in his head (maybe heard it before and didn't remember) or if he "borrowed" it.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby EmTV » Jan 16th, '13, 03:37

CanadaPure wrote:
InsaneTRex94 wrote:There's almost nothing else I can say after Geno's giant bit of feed. It was great, only way it coulda been better is if I was on it.

EmTV...did you take that Pain Olympics line from Hopsin?


Damn... That's a close call on whether he had it in his head (maybe heard it before and didn't remember) or if he "borrowed" it.


Nah. I totally forgot Hop said anything about it. I just wanted to make the end rhymes work with Olympics of Pain, because when CP originally said he had a dark vibe or whatever, that was one of the first thoughts. Chopping up your dick IS dark, so it worked. And it rhymes decent enough.

Or maybe I did. I don't think so.
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby Eedee » Jan 16th, '13, 06:09

Ight give me some time to settle in to my dorm room again. I'm literally standing up at my desk just going through threads.

I got this feed by the balls. Just give me some time to get situated. :y:
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Re: [Collaboration] 4 by 16 Cypher

Postby CanadaPure » Jan 16th, '13, 06:52

Eedee wrote:Ight give me some time to settle in to my dorm room again. I'm literally standing up at my desk just going through threads.

I got this feed by the balls. Just give me some time to get situated. :y:


I feel your pain, I just moved back in last week. It's a pain in the ass.
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