Eedee - "Finally"

[Eedee]

LoF
Beat

This was written for my recently dropped Audio Stage mixtape and it's one of my favorite written pieces because of what it means to me. So I'm going to just drop this here and hopefully get feedback on the writing part of it (and not the audio - which is at the bottom, because it would be cruel otherwise). Thanks guys!

[Intro]
It's funny how someone you thought you were over
Can just pop right back into your life
And fuck everything up...
And as much as you want to hate them
For what they did to you...
You just can't, because what they mean to you
Goes beyond any type of pain.
Probably think I'm insane
Stressing over this for so long
When it happened so long ago...
But the hold you had on me is unbreakable.
I mean, was...
Finally...

[Verse: Eedee]
Something on my chest, I need to get it off now
Got the best advice for a human feeling bogged down?
It's too late to back out so why am I fading?
Is my career going backwards, some kind of time dilation?
Forty fans at most? Well, I'm kinda patient
There's more to man than soldiers dying to fake it.
I cry, lie awake at night, tossing and turning
I'm trying to chase it but I've gone soft from the hurtin'.
Spiralling now, thoughts caught in the whirlwind,
I think I'm fucking done, I done saught for a girlfriend.
Nothing comes to me even if I pursue it,
Plunge me under, drown me, I'm dreaming that I could do shit.
But I blew it and now my chances drift away
Happenstances you'd think would have me quit today.
It's a shame, it really is, sadness, sick of pain,
I wish of ways to stand out, but now I grab my dick and say:

There are things in life, that we can never be
And there are things in life that we won't ever see.
Even though plans have changed, walk away from battle pains
Battle plans are in effect, counting down the planet's days.
Catch a case of cold and flu, dreaming that I'm holding you
But now I carry on to fame, by my side a hopeful crew.

And so it's true, that when I think of a glass cup
Fuck it's contents, I continue picking my ass up.
The saga is almost over, I can feel it drawing near
I'm feeling sorta angry, I mean I'm living calmly, dear.
I let fall a tear and then I wipe it off my cheek,
Tears drops on my pillow, I'm crying off to sleep.
Trying not to dream of the times where we were glad
Your precious face would pick up that the signs of me are sad.
Winding down the path that we were trying not to have,
Times were hard and bad and I was dying lost and sad.
You sat me on that couch and now I'm better for it, thanks,
You were like a ball and chain, I never wore the brace.
I somehow knew deep down that this was gonna end
And that you would dump me hard and then ask to be my friend.

So moonshine, I feel this heartache at it's end,
You cry tears of joy from the darkness I befriend.
Sending you these hearty words, you are not a curse
But my lyrics have more meaning any of your father's verse.
I don't mean to end this on a joyous note of lust
But if we are to die than shouldn't the world know it's us?
Slow the rush... I really am grateful,
You taught me a lesson, I'm happy and thankful.
I hope you live your life knowing you broke my heart
I'll get on with mine even if it's slow to start.
So from one heart to another, know I'll always love you
Do try to remember, that Jordan, you are my moonshine...

YouTube Link for the song if anyone cares hearing what it sounds like.

[PAINKILLƎR]

My favorite track off the Ashes Mixtape, I got it on my itunes. Powerful m8, 2powerful.

[ImANoob]

i usually cant follow peoples lyrics with just a beat and the lyrics but for some reason i found this one easy to follow along to and imagine what it would sound like. great job!

[Eedee]

Thanks guys.

[Mr.DGAF]

u're soft dude. you need to write more lyircalz verses cause u're getting soft.

Haha, but dude, I already told you this is one of my favorites from the mixtape. Third verse is my favorite, some intense stuff in there. The father's verse line was really well written, and you delivered it well on the song. Good shit mane.

[Eedee]

I may be soft but at least I actually still drop writtens. Asshole.

Haha, thanks yo.

[J.R.]

I may be soft but at least I actually still drop writtens. Asshole.

Haha, thanks yo.

Haha, I know he was kidding but made me laugh.

Eedee, in regards to your comment on my thread, yeah, let us start writing again, because I was really iffy last time, and rather immature/shitty. I've grown as a writer, albeit with much more breaks.

On topic: This was really powerful/relatable, I dug the feel, had the rhymes and flow but I felt the content shined especially. I look forward to more, and the actual song was dope as well. Keep at it.

[CanadaPure]

That's really powerfully written Eedee. The content is obviously the star of this, the flow is good too, but the content is what stood out the most. I can't even listen to the audio right now because my headphones are MIA so that's just going off of the text. Really smooth.

[Eedee]

Thanks guys.