Eedee - "Trapped"

[Eedee]

LoF
Beat

This smile hides how life has got me hurtin'
It's a reflection of my soul inside I'm topsy turvy
So it's really a frown, now I'm digging the ground,
Cuz my coffin needs a place to be, bitching around
Is for fucking losers... I ain't fucking with life
It's gotten to the point of where I'm touching a knife.
But I'm wondering like dangling from a chandelier,
Nothing's happening... hello? Can I get a hand up here?
I should probably take the easy way and bleed for days
After I squeeze my brains through a bullet hole and dream away
Eternity... I'm only rapping, I'm a guy
Who sits here contemplating what happens when I die.
They say that it's selfish for one to end their life
But it's more selfish to make me stay, you're my "friends" alright.
I kept the light for too long, you strong enough to get by?
It's like I'm trapped and all I wanna do is not live life.

[CanadaPure]

SMH Eedee, I'm in the middle of trying to write some humorous shit, and then I come in here and you make me all sad with your deep shit. I liked it though, it flowed nicely, but for some reason:

"Eternity... I'm only rapping, I'm a guy
Who sits here contemplating what happens when I die."

Made me lose the flow I thought I'd found in it. Other than that, solid work as usual.

[PAINKILLƎR]

The lyrics translate really well with that beat, you get that "trapped" feel, it's awesome.


"I'm touching a knife."

I feel like you should have said clutching instead, but hey that's just me. Other than that this was pretty much kick ass as usual.

[PAINKILLƎR]

smh, says the guy that can't flow... just kidding.

[Eedee]

The lyrics translate really well with that beat, you get that "trapped" feel, it's awesome.


"I'm touching a knife."

I feel like you should have said clutching instead, but hey that's just me. Other than that this was pretty much kick ass as usual.

Thanks yo. I thought of "clutching" as well, but I went with "touching" because by touching a knife... I'm actually in physical contact with the blade. Or at least that's what I went for.

SMH Eedee, I'm in the middle of trying to write some humorous shit, and then I come in here and you make me all sad with your deep shit. I liked it though, it flowed nicely, but for some reason:

"Eternity... I'm only rapping, I'm a guy
Who sits here contemplating what happens when I die."

Made me lose the flow I thought I'd found in it. Other than that, solid work as usual.

WELL SORRY. No more deep pieces from me lol

And those bars you quoted, you go from the previous bars straight into "Eternity..." and that little pause gives you a break for breath and then carry on the bars and it should flow smoothly if you do it that way.

Solid verse but I didn't think it fit that beat at all man.

Yeah I might have Demaz make another beat with the same BPM but have a more reverby/boxed in feel. I only used this beat because of the name (it worked for me) and the tempo. He can easily reproduce this but with the matching sound. Thanks yo.

[Eedee]

Actually, after listening to just the beat, Geno, I take it back. I liked how the those tapping snares make it feel like my heartbeat is racing as if I'm about to end my life, ya know? I think it works well, but to each his own, I guess haha.

Plus those racing strings in the background.

[CanadaPure]

WELL SORRY. No more deep pieces from me lol

And those bars you quoted, you go from the previous bars straight into "Eternity..." and that little pause gives you a break for breath and then carry on the bars and it should flow smoothly if you do it that way.

Yeah just tried it like that, much better. I take back what I said.

[Eedee]

^ Cool. Glad I didn't fuck up haha. You scared me.

[CanadaPure]

^ Cool. Glad I didn't fuck up haha. You scared me.

When you're trying to read something it's hard sometimes when you're not entirely sure how the other person would flow. There's so many different ways to flow on one beat that it can really mess you up when it's just words on a screen. Nahimean?

[Eedee]

Lol Geno. That's funny.

And yeah CP, I know. So at least you got it, I guess haha

[Eedee]

Thanks Trex. I knew you'd relate to this one.