mind camp

[Ka0t1c]

i don't really know why i left you hangin dry without sayin goodbye
i guess i aint too great at replies
but i'm the same one stayin inside while mayhem collides
some say that i may be too high just waitin to die and i lay in my cage hypnotized
yet i recognize satan hasn't shied, also my brain isn't fried
i will aim to the skies usin radio eyes while remainin most wise
still, my fate i decide to escape all the lies and fake entangled ties so the stage is now mine
to remain brave, i shall try as i'm wavin away with the changing tides
but the strength to survive the failures of life
i shouldn't be ashamed what i rhyme cuz i became a shade to outline
oh, i don't mind ya prayin to climb
but i'm not a saint, i'm unkind
i'm just facin time, payin the banks for my crimes til there aint no sunshine
insane's our outcry; i can't deny i've been trained by angels to fly
though, i'm afraid my halo i won't find
inside my cave's where i hide, decayin and goin blind
where i remain untamed from frontlines
there's no escapin the signs but we came trailin behind
i won't apologize when i've escaped and find the gold mine
i thank God i'm doin fine


LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152799

[SajN]

You need to post a proper feedback in someone elses thread, then copy the link of the thread and edit it in to this post, or else this will get closed.

[Ka0t1c]

thanks for your input, anyone else?

[CanadaPure]

I like that you kept the similar rhyme scheme through the whole thing, I think it's neat when people pull that off. I did have a hard time following the flow, but if you'd posted a beat that you wrote it to it would have been a bit easier to find.

[Eedee]

Yeah as CP said, cool rhyme scheme and keeping it consistent.

I'd always say to write to a beat.

[tadpole25]

This is one of the best I've seen on this forum when it comes to multies.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1C4XbHmY3yM

Here's me reading it off first take, just trying to figure out the rhythm and flow here.