Dreams vs drugs

[Just Silver]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=160822 feed


An extremely weird piece i wrote trying something new

(wakes)I had a dream but its painted black and white
Couldnt reach or obtain through gifted guided lights
All my life,all i wanna do is survive but this dream is mine
Work a 9-5 before I blow a 45 or blow another line?
id never do that shit but i smoke to cope inside
Knowing i cant succeed hoping ill die
See the dream was just what i was told as a guy
That i could make it, as long as you put your full effort
I pray that, my best work could pleasure my nerves
And the rows of words are as relaxed when im slurred
(dreams) Fuck the earth, finally made bucks to burn
Had a go with the crowd surf, surf and turf
Verses verse my agony win amount of purse
No drugs thats a first first placed words
Suboxone got me locked in boxed to not win?
Im slowly awakened and mistaken my own exaggeration
(wakes) Salivation reaches sheets , cold sweats
Hopelessness from having no peace
This cant be, but i know that, i cant go strapped
No police for me till the nurse for when i pee
Ive been a bad seed since the elementary
So should i really live all these bad memories
I feel thats drugs are my life and worst enemy

(screams)

[Sam.]

That's pretty intense shit, mate. Although you wandered off to a different dimension with few lines. Most of them were pretty deep, if I've understood them well. I could see that you were trying to use the same sounding words(O & I)together, but somewhat failed in the transmission to the next! That kinda blew off the flow at the point. If you're gonna do that next time make sure you use less of them instead of flooding the whole verse. Seems good at the start but, as I said, when you move on to the next Rhyme scheme, shit messes up. Practice, that's all I want you to do.

Peace.

Going to sleep.

[Just Silver]

That's pretty intense shit, mate. Although you wandered off to a different dimension with few lines. Most of them were pretty deep, if I've understood them well. I could see that you were trying to use the same sounding words(O & I)together, but somewhat failed in the transmission to the next! That kinda blew off the flow at the point. If you're gonna do that next time make sure you use less of them instead of flooding the whole verse. Seems good at the start but, as I said, when you move on to the next Rhyme scheme, shit messes up. Practice, that's all I want you to do.

Peace.

Going to sleep.

Thanks lol half this piece i was on suboxone and that's another reason my lines differed
But that's how i wanted it half sober half fucked up

[Sam.]

That's a crazy way to write, you know. Crazy son of a bitch, dude.....

[Just Silver]

That's a crazy way to write, you know. Crazy son of a bitch, dude.....

Lmao i took pharrels advice to create the atmosphere

[Sam.]

Lmao.

That's actually dedication for perfection in a way.

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy

[Francesco]

Another good one...

[Just Silver]

Bump. then ill feed a piece later and possibly write

[Just Silver]

Last bump igtta write a new piece soon