RAGE - Unstoppable

[IBasicallyRage]

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=159583

**Alright, so, this was one of my first pieces I ever wrote, about two years ago. I suck at choruses so there isn't a chorus in this piece, The "(chorus)" means that is where it would go...lol Thanks for reading**

It all starts with a beat like this, an aching inside to provide a hot diss
Roll on my enemies with a clutched fist
You all swung but you missed now it's my turn and you got me all pissed
Show you the meaning of the game when I spit
Undeniable like the track underneath it,
I'm locked and loaded; all my thoughts have exploded,
Got my heat ready and pointed, and I won't stop till I'm heaven anointed,
(Chorus)
Mathematic reasoning your less than me
Tommy try hard I’m a give you the best of me, respectfully,
I write lyrics you can’t rap your shit credibly,
I’ll probably escalate to greatness,
I hate this retarded fakeness,
Take the rap game and make it,
Equated to lame and I’m a shame of it,
Look (what) you made of it, you make hundreds? ha you make nothin',
Wallets like munchkin, overcompensating with proud loud foul mouths,
Flow sour like sour crout, lyrics are my firepower, I’m dark like the power's out..
(Chorus)
Unstoppable, like a ragin bull, smash through you door if you act a fool,
Better keep your cool, and sit back in your stool,
Got a sniper across the street, shot comes so close you can feel the bullets heat,
Inaccurate no, it’s just the warning, bring the calm before it starts storming,
Make you place look like Swiss cheese,
Two drum mags call it double Ds,
Make your house smoke like burning trees; unload a couple dozen RPGs,
I gotta army at my dispense, so give up and drop that offense, If you’ve got common sense, bless the ground your on, before I drop a fuckin bomb

[Just Silver]

I liked this better chorus was meh but i liked the vocab choice and flow

Again seems like an earlier piece of mine and your pretty young so u have tons of time to improve

Try to work on your punches and keep it up

[IBasicallyRage]

I liked this better chorus was meh but i liked the vocab choice and flow

Again seems like an earlier piece of mine and your pretty young so u have tons of time to improve

Try to work on your punches and keep it up

Thanks alot Silver! And I'm working on it.

[Snakebeast]

I honestly thought your rap name would be Deuce Anywho:

The rhyme schemes are rather basic, but you had some good multis in there i.e. less than me/respectfully. The verse makes sense and you made coherent sentences without sacrificing anything just to make rhymes.

To me, this sounds like one of those old-school cypher tracks spit over a basic beat, and I love it. It's unique, and I suggest you improve the flow a bit, but keep up this style, because its awesome

[IBasicallyRage]

I honestly thought your rap name would be Deuce Anywho:

The rhyme schemes are rather basic, but you had some good multis in there i.e. less than me/respectfully. The verse makes sense and you made coherent sentences without sacrificing anything just to make rhymes.

To me, this sounds like one of those old-school cypher tracks spit over a basic beat, and I love it. It's unique, and I suggest you improve the flow a bit, but keep up this style, because its awesome

Thanks Snake! I appreciate it!