Little rhyme (First one)

[.Giorgo.]

This is my first rhyme i ever made, i think it sucks . But yeah, keep practicing.
I spend about 40 minutes on it..

[Intro]Why did you did it !![Intro]

Yesterday, i was coming home, My girls did not normal,
I searched out what is was,, but i didn't get Informal,

That night i saw it, i saw a paints,
But i didn't let any complaints,
But why she did ? Is she lonely, am i nood good enough ?
Or is that just a Bluff ?

Anyways, i stopped our relation,
I was just going out, to the busstation,
I never want to see her, i hated her,
But the only what i couldn't see was the chaffeur,

Whole our relationship was a lie,
I'm still wondering,, Why ?
I Don't care actually, but i care about the waste of time,
But now, i'm gonna make an end, this is the end of this Rhyme,

[Rae]

thats good! it had some nice rhymes! keep it up and just keep practicing. (its alot better than my 1st rhyme ... my 1st one was wack .... lol)

[die2nite]

I think...that you need to keep practicing your English first before you start rapping in it.
I understand what you were going for, but the fundamental grammatical errors was what caught my eye more than the rhymes or content.