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Incomplete

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Incomplete

Postby C-Game » Aug 22nd, '06, 17:23

Incomplete 1------------------

Your lips are da foundation of HEAVEN
Your eyes are da portal of my HAVEN
my endearment to you is VERACIOUS
Your the shield if guidance whos COURAGOUES
Your body manifest the exact CURVATURE
God made u 2 b da perfection NATURE
I hate to admit but my statment i'll REPEAT
your my solace,afficionado, without you I'm INCOMPLETE

Incomplete 2------------------

Your presence build up my SENSUOUS
You're my life source that's INTRAVENOUS
I'm stranded surrounded by LONELINESS
You are da ray of light, my GODDESS
You are benevolence, luminary and WIT
I'm da GAME but without I FORFEIT
I can elevate even if I'm close to DEFEAT
I'll repeat my statement,without u I'm INCOMPLETE
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Postby Rae » Aug 22nd, '06, 17:28

there good! keep it up ... i like it, but it was kinda hard 2 understand some of those words. but its cool that u know how to write poems that go deep and have big words! like i said keep it up ... and i look 4ward 2 reading more of your stuff! :D
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I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
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Postby C-Game » Aug 22nd, '06, 17:36

thankx a lot bro
im in a group and i ink a lot of raps
anyway check out my site and singles which is aired in my country ( sri lanka )
http://www.hailztorm.com
im checkin ur stuff ryt now
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Postby Rae » Aug 22nd, '06, 17:47

cool ... my stuff aint 2 good ... but ... yeah. im checkin out ur site! :D
screename on Zune Social - HispanicLUVER

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I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
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Postby Rae » Aug 22nd, '06, 17:49

aw man thats a nice site! :D
screename on Zune Social - HispanicLUVER

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I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
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Postby C-Game » Aug 22nd, '06, 18:09

hey i replied to one of ur great poems
keep it up man
i like ur work
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Postby Rae » Aug 22nd, '06, 18:15

thanx i saw it ... i like ur work 2... :D
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I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
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Postby ThomasAguanis » Aug 22nd, '06, 20:14

they're pretty good man. would be better if you linked the lines together better instead of changing the ending rhyme every 2 lines
B.K.A. The King of Kale A.K.A. The Superfood Sensai
I still rap better than you.
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Postby C-Game » Aug 22nd, '06, 20:53

i hear u bro
yea i c ur point
thnkx for the feed back ....
always appreciate it
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Postby rhiannon » Aug 22nd, '06, 21:01

wow!they were really good dat girls lucky..i'd love sum1 to write sumin like that bout me lol
they were real sweet nice work!
I LIKE SLIMMY
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Postby *MIRANDA* » Aug 23rd, '06, 15:13

wow :confusion:
you are really good
keep it up ... love to read more from you :flower: !!!
AspirinE wrote:Miranda > space,matter and time > *

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Postby C-Game » Aug 23rd, '06, 19:22

thnkx for all ur feed back
rhymin is a learning process and im learnin from all u guys
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Postby C-Game » Aug 24th, '06, 18:00

hey thankx for all ur feed back
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