wrote this over the weekend..about the weekend

[ThomasAguanis]

did this in a notebook rhymebook type thing so it wasnt in bars since i just kept writing but ill try top arrange it somewhat:

she said she wanted to take a break, I started to shake, started to quake/
didn't know what to make of this situation, i lay awake, all this information/
caused inflamation, my eyes wanted to cry but honest they're dry/
feels like i wanted to die, I'm tore up inside on the floor i just lied/
and the more i declined, fell, unbind, I'm well I'm fine/
ahh hell I'm blind to my surrondings, my mind is pounding, twirling away/
curling, let's say I'm unfuerling today I feel like the shell of a person/
living in hell on earth's skin, it's the worst thing I ever felt/
seems like nothing could ever help, inside I sever, melt/
I'm teathered, welt and explode emotionally, erode, there's no hope that I see/
supposse it's like I float out to sea, feel alone and cold, my bones feel old/
like stones were thrown, I'm aching and empty, the shaking exempts me/
but the pain retains in my slain remains that no chain cane tame/
I'm going insane I claim even my brains enflamed, I'm changed being/
rage steams out my ear, ishout in fear, I'm about to tear/
I've never turned to harm but now I burn my arm, doesn't hurt me though/
at first I blow, ohh no!, it's a C O, her innitials engraved, in my tissue it's saved/
bubbles and scars, in rubble I'm charred and hope to part/
she broke my heart, even used my quote for art, I can't cope, I'm dark/
and by gloom consumed, in my room, it's doom and compiles around/
no smiles but frowns, can't sleep or eat, can't weep, I'm beat/
it keeps up, seems like it's never passing, but I get through believing true love's everlasting/

all's true..here's some proof:

(really does look like a C O in person..like the o's in the curving part of the c)

well im gonan record that eventually and probally do a part 2 to show things clearing up but i need beats 1st..and im not worrying about it now..

feedback is appreaciated

[Mc Cubz]

did this in a notebook rhymebook type thing so it wasnt in bars since i just kept writing but ill try top arrange it somewhat:

she said she wanted to take a break, I started to shake, started to quake/
didn't know what to make of this situation, i lay awake, all this information/
caused inflamation, my eyes wanted to cry but honest they're dry/
feels like i wanted to die, I'm tore up inside on the floor i just lied/
and the more i declined, fell, unbind, I'm well I'm fine/
ahh hell I'm blind to my surrondings, my mind is pounding, twirling away/
curling, let's say I'm unfuerling today I feel like the shell of a person/
living in hell on earth's skin, it's the worst thing I ever felt/
seems like nothing could ever help, inside I sever, melt/
I'm teathered, welt and explode emotionally, erode, there's no hope that I see/
supposse it's like I float out to sea, feel alone and cold, my bones feel old/
like stones were thrown, I'm aching and empty, the shaking exempts me/
but the pain retains in my slain remains that no chain cane tame/
I'm going insane I claim even my brains enflamed, I'm changed being/
rage steams out my ear, ishout in fear, I'm about to tear/
I've never turned to harm but now I burn my arm, doesn't hurt me though/
at first I blow, ohh no!, it's a C O, her innitials engraved, in my tissue it's saved/
bubbles and scars, in rubble I'm charred and hope to part/
she broke my heart, even used my quote for art, I can't cope, I'm dark/
and by gloom consumed, in my room, it's doom and compiles around/
no smiles but frowns, can't sleep or eat, can't weep, I'm beat/
it keeps up, seems like it's never passing, but I get through believing true love's everlasting/

all's true..here's some proof:

(really does look like a C O in person..like the o's in the curving part of the c)

well im gonan record that eventually and probally do a part 2 to show things clearing up but i need beats 1st..and im not worrying about it now..

feedback is appreaciated

ok tom - well done man thats deep - I like how were making love songs lol - cos chek ye - its one thing to text battle, its one thing to record agressive songs, but its jus next level to make a range of song types, I'm not sure about the structure of this and how the bars work, but thats ok, as long as you can rap it its all that matters, I dont get method man's structure but he audios them well, anyway the lyrics are deep and meaningful, MAJOR PROPS for putting your true feelings down on paper instead of saying im cocking nines, your cocking guys - you know all the mainstream bulshit that everyones heard lol. well dun!! cubz

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

real deep its really good i like the rythmes and it keeps the subject well through it nice work

[ThomasAguanis]

thanks cubz. i'll talk to you about that one day like I said yesturday.

and thanks bar

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

That's reeeeeaally good! Real deep, nice shit, I like it. Glad everythings cleared up now, seems like you were down when you wrote that




But your rhymes in that are just.....fabulous

lol his vocab is probly best on TR he can rythm anything at least 15 times lol im working on mine

[ThomasAguanis]

That's reeeeeaally good! Real deep, nice shit, I like it. Glad everythings cleared up now, seems like you were down when you wrote that

But your rhymes in that are just.....fabulous

thanks a lot Sarah. I was down when I wrote it. your comment's appreaciated

lol his vocab is probly best on TR he can rythm anything at least 15 times lol im working on mine

woah thanks man and you're getting there. you're improving a lot faster than i did it seems..which is great


oh and if anyone cares, i was with her today since it was our year and we talked about what happened...turns out it was influenced by her mom like i expected and she was just pressured by her which got her upset and made her say a lot she didnt mean..so we're the same as before...if not closer.

[stevethetruth]

dude i thought that was wicked good

and what makes it even better and respect you more is that it came from the heart

idk what to say man it left me a little speechless



(btw hope the burn heals )

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

That's reeeeeaally good! Real deep, nice shit, I like it. Glad everythings cleared up now, seems like you were down when you wrote that

But your rhymes in that are just.....fabulous

thanks a lot Sarah. I was down when I wrote it. your comment's appreaciated

lol his vocab is probly best on TR he can rythm anything at least 15 times lol im working on mine

woah thanks man and you're getting there. you're improving a lot faster than i did it seems..which is great


oh and if anyone cares, i was with her today since it was our year and we talked about what happened...turns out it was influenced by her mom like i expected and she was just pressured by her which got her upset and made her say a lot she didnt mean..so we're the same as before...if not closer.

great news man glad it all worked out i know what its like when the girl of your dreams jsut out the blue does something like that but yours worked it so its all good and thx

[ThomasAguanis]

thanks a lot steve. its appreaciated.

great news man glad it all worked out i know what its like when the girl of your dreams jsut out the blue does something like that but yours worked it so its all good and thx

yea i am too..well we both are. we needed to be together tonight and sorted it all out and had an amazing night together

[stevethetruth]

thanks a lot steve. its appreaciated.

great news man glad it all worked out i know what its like when the girl of your dreams jsut out the blue does something like that but yours worked it so its all good and thx

yea i am too..well we both are. we needed to be together tonight and sorted it all out and had an amazing night together

good to hear that man!!

glad it's all ok

[ThomasAguanis]

Oh yeah you did suspect that. I was kinda thinkin you'd be right too since she called you crying . It's good that your back together like normal again . I would never let my mom interfere (sp?) with my relationships

yea. i told her to not listen to her mom when it comes to us..jsut to listen to herself and she agreed and now realizes what her mom is doing or trys to do. we both think its becasue she's been in the house all summer looking for a job since her last place went out of business(she decorates store windows and is reallly good at it so she can afford to wait for whatever job she want with it)

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

Oh yeah you did suspect that. I was kinda thinkin you'd be right too since she called you crying . It's good that your back together like normal again . I would never let my mom interfere (sp?) with my relationships

yea. i told her to not listen to her mom when it comes to us..jsut to listen to herself and she agreed and now realizes what her mom is doing or trys to do. we both think its becasue she's been in the house all summer looking for a job since her last place went out of business(she decorates store windows and is reallly good at it so she can afford to wait for whatever job she want with it)

my mom used to do that for the job she worked a,t its like doing xmas and easter displays for shops right ?

[ThomasAguanis]

umm i think she would do it all year round...im not too sure of the details



and thanks again for everyone's feed. part 2 will be posted whenever i decide to write it haha

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

umm i think she would do it all year round...im not too sure of the details



and thanks again for everyone's feed. part 2 will be posted whenever i decide to write it haha

itd be kool if you got a beat like obie story dark then light have this on the dark part now right another part about hwo you feel now it all sorted itd be a pretty sick song

[Inzanity]

that was real good. I agree wit Bar about the Obie beat that'd be sick. u did a real good job on this.