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my first try!!!(pllzzz let feed)

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my first try!!!(pllzzz let feed)

Postby °[~CHR!$~]° » Oct 31st, '06, 23:24

im new in this game ,
makin my name,
everytime i read a text,
makin me holdin my breath,
cuz im shy and have problems with ryhmes
and now tonight i spit some pretty shit
get enough of this bitch
man she have 'dick-sucking-lips'
some of those that are very fit
like rihanna in her clip
so i dont really know if my rhymes are dope
and i hope that yall gone for mo
now i finish my lil track
and wait for ya feedback

(kinda now as outro)^^ :shifty:
haha...how you like that
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Oct 31st, '06, 23:26

no hate just helping..... :sweating:

lots dont rythm

everytime i read a text,
makin me holdin my breath,
cuz im shy and have problems with ryhmes
and now tonight i spit some pretty shit
get enough of this bitch
man she have 'dick-sucking-lips'



no rythmes


you need ot practice btu its your first so good for trying youll get better :D
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Postby °[~CHR!$~]° » Nov 1st, '06, 00:07

yeah thx for feed ..........hope so....... :unsure: :D
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Postby Inches » Nov 2nd, '06, 02:11

Bar wrote:no hate just helping..... :sweating:

lots dont rythm

everytime i read a text,
makin me holdin my breath,
cuz im shy and have problems with ryhmes
and now tonight i spit some pretty shit
get enough of this bitch
man she have 'dick-sucking-lips'



no rythmes


you need ot practice btu its your first so good for trying youll get better :D


what he saidd, and try to make your lines longer
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