need to no if im getin better (so need alot of feed)

by **2 DeeP** » Nov 4th, '06, 20:37

we all thugs waiten for a friday night,
get our soljas an get high as a kite,
run head first in to our enimys like a knight,
ill becume the best cos my technique,
homz thes only one ill die unique,
if you dont belive me scan a g,
even the media cant ban a g,
the bed room is wer me an your bitch play at,
the hood is wer me an the fuckin soljas stay at,
home boy uwc will take over at the top,
when we get their a aint lookin for the chop,
dont try an take this cos i will destroy yoo,
my wolves eat ppl they will enjoy yoo,
i hit you with 3 bars that wont just anoy yoo,
my god man this shit is hot no 1 is fuckin us,
cgame bar kez an inches no 1 is bukin us,
ya mum is in my crib an she is suckin us,
peace out uwc

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Nov 4th, '06, 20:52

best yit mate

and yeh

PEOPLE GIVE HIM FUCKING FEED

by **Kez** » Nov 4th, '06, 20:57

The only thing i can see to improve on is more wordplay. The multis are fine, the flow and the structure are fine too.

I'm not that good at constructive feed, but there are people that are who won't bother to comment or even look.

SO YEAH, GIVE SOME FUCKING FEED FOR A CHANGE.[/u]

by **SenatorN** » Nov 4th, '06, 23:36

looks good.

by **Inches** » Nov 4th, '06, 23:47

SenatorN wrote:looks good.

ohhhh real good feeed

:loser:

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Nov 4th, '06, 23:54

inches2010 wrote:
SenatorN wrote:looks good.

ohhhh real good feeed

by **SenatorN** » Nov 5th, '06, 00:04

inches2010 wrote:
SenatorN wrote:looks good.

ohhhh real good feeed

by **stevethetruth** » Nov 5th, '06, 00:13

SenatorN wrote:
inches2010 wrote:
SenatorN wrote:looks good.

ohhhh real good feeed

dude no offense but stop fucking spamming ok :tounge2:

btw 2 deep not bad
never really seen anything like it on here

keep it up you'll get better over time

by **2 DeeP** » Nov 5th, '06, 00:53

thx for the feed man :smoking:

by **C-Game** » Nov 5th, '06, 08:03

hey man nice stuff
the structure is oki
but never write odd number of lines

unless ur planin to start tthe first line off beat

if thats the intention then its kool

other than that add some multis and ur in

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Nov 6th, '06, 18:45

bumping dis shit for him

by **C-Game** » Nov 6th, '06, 20:02

Bar wrote:bumping dis shit for him

bump again :happy:

need to no if im getin better (so need alot of feed)

need to no if im getin better (so need alot of feed)

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