hip hop world ( finished second verse, new stuff in bold )

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

Verse 1
coming from a hip hop world that you dont even know about
everbody shout and scream suck it in and blow it out
let me sprout a rythm inside yer mind and lets rewind
look a find a kind man combined with mankind
now my lines combined like mines on a beat that chimes
this is hypnotizing hip hop rise upon the bi bop
a dont stop or flop or drop a grow better like a crop
giving you a preview of how sick i just can be
giving you a preview of bloodline and uwc
grab a line or squeeze a nine soon in time there all mine
snap yer spine feel that twine drink that wine fucking swine
fuck a person , mug a person , bug a person, drug a person,
worsen drugs , worsen thugs , worsen mugs, worsen bugs,

Verse 2

coming from a hip hop world that you dont even know about
everbody shout and scream suck it in and blow it out
let me sprout a rythm inside yer mind and lets rewind
look a find a kind man combined with mankind
see a choose the mic to fight instead of fight about the might
raps became a pick and mix full of priks and dicks
all they think about is money cars and the chicks,
i think about the rythms complex times and make them mines
Living in these streets everybody feel the heat
rich or poor, snitch or pure, bitch or whore, wits your core,
scream for more , extream or hardcore , put your four worths in
coz theres worse things than this i beileive in
stop doing what you chewing start spraying what you saying
a got a dream laying flat in my face with no race
classed as a disgrace coz i tried to rap and fell at the first pace
well if thats the case i mayswell stop doing what i enjoy
but what about you , toying with a guy just tryna have a dream,
a mean maybe you got the same dream to
infact i know for a fact you do


itll be finished and audio for tuesday i get my mixer on monday

dam store didnt have them in stock

feed on it so far

[Marth]

the flow, punches and rhymes are ill
it needs some more wordplays and fun, to make it nicer
but it sounds fuckin'good ( reads fuckin'good acutlay :P )

[C-Game]

yea i like it too
but bar u cld hv improved some aspects on rhymin ( which u r highly capable off )

but all in all i like it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

yea i like it too
but bar u cld hv improved some aspects on rhymin ( which u r highly capable off )

but all in all i like it

explain more


thx for feed guys

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

the flow, punches and rhymes are ill
it needs some more wordplays and fun, to make it nicer
but it sounds fuckin'good ( reads fuckin'good acutlay :P )

lol i dunno were your from but i got some wordplay ( not alot but some )

fuck a person , mug a person , bug a person, drug a person,
worsen drugs , worsen thugs , worsen mugs, worsen bugs,


those 2 lines are complete wordplay if you think about it

fuck , mug , bug < they all messing about with there meanings


anywae thx for feed

and BUMP!!!!

[Inzanity]

nice man the concept of it is great it flowed well and there were some good punch's in there

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

nice man the concept of it is great it flowed well and there were some good punch's in there

thx the beat i wrote it to is sorta strange youll all understand once i audio it lol i tried to spit it but just cant untill i get the mixer coz it the closest to fast spitting i ever been and am ever goni go...not real fast just fast fro em coz i dont liek spittign fast lol....thx for taking the time to read it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

Nice, I like it . I'm not a pro so idk how to give advice or anything but I do like it can't wait for audio, you have a hot voice too btw

lol thanks i think the audio is goni be good nee type of song for me lol and hopefully mixed nicely will eb a great track thx for reading and i may have a hot voice but you just dam sexy youll never be able to read it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

lol your voice is hot :d

bump

more feed pelase!!

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

bump

for feed and to say imma try finish it now

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

bump

[NoLimitWordz]

you been bumping this thing like a mothafucka...lol oh and that dude never said you had no wordplay...he said you could use some more...lol just to clear that up...but enugh of respnding to other posts....

I liked it...the flow was nice....the lyrics/rhymes were good...the overall concept seemd to work...so it looks good on paper...now to see how it goes with the beat and whatnot...i look forward to the audio if i can actually get it this time...lol...either way just keep up the good shit

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

you been bumping this thing like a mothafucka...lol oh and that dude never said you had no wordplay...he said you could use some more...lol just to clear that up...but enugh of respnding to other posts....

I liked it...the flow was nice....the lyrics/rhymes were good...the overall concept seemd to work...so it looks good on paper...now to see how it goes with the beat and whatnot...i look forward to the audio if i can actually get it this time...lol...either way just keep up the good shit

lol kool n thx

i bumped it first 2 times for more feed , bumped the 3rd coz i finished 2nd verse

the aduio should be soon

[C-Game]

Living in these streets everybody feel the heat
rich or poor, snitch or pure, bitch or whore, wits your core,

nice stuff man
da bolded part really excells
nice stuff

[AspirinE]

now my lines combined like mines on a beat that chimes
this is hypnotizing hip hop rise upon the bi bop
a dont stop or flop or drop a grow better like a crop

I Like the rhymes even decent on the mutis but the punchlines somewhat dont impress..


I mean, people listen to raps for dope ass punchlines..

try balancing flow/punchlines and multis

but i like it, im just saying that to be honest, so u know what others think u should improve.