Malcolm X Speech [ 4 School,]

[Tash8]

Please tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions/ crrections please let me know. I GOTTA do good on this.

[Inches]

No, we can do a speech on whatever we choose, i chose to do mine informing the dumbass in my area of a man who most of them have never heard of before.
Thanks for actually reading, youll probly be the only one who does.

[IceAxe]

It was some good stuff. I learned more about him from this than from school.

[Hadez]

No, we can do a speech on whatever we choose, i chose to do mine informing the dumbass in my area of a man who most of them have never heard of before.
Thanks for actually reading, youll probly be the only one who does.

its sad how so many people walk around with shirts that have Malcom and Martin Luther King Jr. and dont know shit about them. they just know they had something to do wit black people.

[Inches]

@ice - thanks man good to know.
@hadez- yeah i know, bugs me alot too
thanks for reading both of you

[Tash8]

inches i'd read it but after the first few sentences there were to many BIG words for me, sorry can't help if i can't understand, hopefully your presenting this to ppl smarter than me.
j/p but it's too long for me, the last thing i read were eminem lyrics but speechs or that was like 5 years ago.

[Curious]

Please tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions/ crrections please let me know. I GOTTA do good on this.

AspirinE

Django

 

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[Curious]

It was worded pretty decently although, you could expand it pretty easily with more descriptive details, using more synonyms an metaphors etc... If you want to make a beautiful speech you need use sentences that are less plain, sor of like you need to show the way you think.

and Correct some typos you got there, like "February" where you missed the extra "R" and i think Muhammed is spelt like this "Muhammad" (but i'm not too sure)

When you're talking about the prophet, Muhammad is usually spelt with an a, but otherwise the name can be spelt in countless different ways - Muhammed, Mohammed, Mohammad etc. You need to check a reliable source for the correct spelling regarding Elijah M.

I agree that you could easily play with the language, which is always a good idea, but overall your speech is pretty well structured; I think you make some good points, show a lot of knowledge about your topic and have a personal attitude towards your subject which is generally what a speech is about. At the same time you comply with many "rules" of speech writing - it's a good idea to start off with a quote as you do, and you round off your argument well with a conclusion - however, maybe there's a little too much of a Malcolm X biography in there, which makes it sound as if you're giving a lecture rather than a speech - you could address your audience a little more, appeal a bit more to their feelings or reason etc.

Hope this little piece of constructive criticism is helpful to you

[yoshi]

it's spelled "Muhammad"

well done Inches, i liked it. i think you could add more your personal thoughts. depends of course on what it is supposed to be - a speech or a lecture. now it sounds more like a lecture, cause you're giving a lot of details, but still, sounds well ordered. would be ok too if you said more about his attitute toward white people before the pilgrimage to Mecca - how he used to talk about whites as "devils", the black supremacy, black and white separation etc, instead of telling his lifestory.

but i liked it anyway.

[Sophie]

It's pretty good. I remember learning about Malcolm X and watchin a video about it in school about 3 years ago. I didn't exactly pay much attention though lol, so I learnt a bit from that. Yeah like others are saying it would be good if you added more of your own opinions & thoughts.

[Inches]

Thank you all for the critisism and I wiill deifintly be using it

I found out after writing it how you spell Muhammad. But i guess it dosent really matter since im reading it and not handing it in lol.
Hmmm seems like i still got a lot of work to do.

[Inches]

Well I cut out most of the pointless things, because it was too long, added some personal opinons, etc.
Thanks to you guys i got 13 1/2 outta 15 , which is almost gold
I just got bad cause i read it fast and didnt look up often enough


Thank you all

[yoshi]

don't worry man, 13,5 / 15 is still good you prolly got nervous lol congratz anyway

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

i hated speeches in school i think i failed mine coz i didnt write it

congratz man good score