Conquer of Rap

[Tash8]

We rap to conquer each of these nations,
untill the stopped reach of desperations.
Rappers don't give or lose, our patience,
we try to change moods, and it's been that way since,
the start of rap which people can relate to,
plague you, and control all your fate too.
And it stays in your presence at all times,
you start to feel the sense of all them rhymes.
And it'll start to change your attitude,
till your filled with rage and want to smack this dude.
Untill we start another of these rappin' fueds,
filled with fuel, and have another pop artists drilled and fooled.
And then rappers suddenly get killed or screwed,
because the media claims rap turns kids intro drug abuse.

Because what rap was meant to do,
was to follow you, and when the hallways dark,
it's lights a spark, and then it start, to guide you
which helps you slide through, what's been ridin' you.
It makes you explode with relief, loads of grief,
and it stays in your mind, when you havin' doubt,
the rap in your spines finds the only way in and out.


I wrote this in 10 minutes, and I want improvement, because this will be a verse of a collab I'm doing hopefully.

Thanks

[Hadez]

it was kinda simple. not ur best work. kinda lacked multis really. the message was aight tho.
keep it up.

[Tash8]

it was kinda simple. not ur best work. kinda lacked multis really. the message was aight tho.
keep it up.

thanks I kept it simple because in audio, I'm starting simple

[Hadez]

^oh ok, i get it.

[C-Game]

it was kinda simple. not ur best work. kinda lacked multis really. the message was aight tho.
keep it up.

thanks I kept it simple because in audio, I'm starting simple

thats a good approach mate

start simple and learn to flow
once ur delivary is good work on complexity

[Tash8]

^ , yea exactly what i'm trying to do

thanks

[Tash8]

any other suggestions, cause i'm hoping to record this soon.

[IceAxe]

it was simple, but decent. I cant suggest anythin, cuz my ideas would be add some complexity and such, but since your doin it in audio and wanna keep it simple, that help's useless