Keystyle..

[Flamez]

just getting some practice


fell off deep down inside a dark hole tied in metal chains trapped
now i'm back full of deadly ammunition with firearms strapped
snapped out cuz i was rapt in thought without clearly thinking
kept rethinking 24/7 of what i've done consuming alcohol drinking
my eyeballs shrinkin' stopped blinking started rapidly sinkin' further down
till i hit rock bottom and drowned but resurrected puttin on my royal crown
rolling around downtown getting renown i'm inconsistent at times but i'm a proceed
just as they say if at first you don't succeed try, try again but i'm a never concede
a warrior who don't quit who's coming at you always at full speed guaranteed

feedback appreciated

[James R.]

Decent for a key but I think you got on this mission to use a nice vocabulary and you let it get you in trouble. It got repetitive like when you said "consuming alcohol drinking" that's unnecessary. Aside from that it was decent. The lines were a little stretched but a decent pace of rhyming kept the flow decent. Good job, just try not to let your desire to have a better vocab or deeper lines get in the way of your delivery.

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

yeh decent for a keystyle, you have better though

although everything you do is at the same level (apart fomr this key witch is just below)

you got to step up the ryhming, you have a good vocab you just got to work in ryhming and more wordplay

[Flamez]

thanx for the feed..

and yea i think i got caught up in having nive vocab and yea i gotta step it up a lil' still a lil' rusty i know i've done better..