A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding
where to go for a drink.
The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the
bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every
third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for
free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you
actually been there?"
"No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."
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Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new
Viagra?"
Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies.
"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you
have no one worth writing to."