give me some feedback on this one plz

[Ka0t1c]

i bet you wont go to the battle with me
cuz you have no balls
you're rather pussy
its a long haul
take it from me
cuz you won't get on out
you aint gonna be
able to E-
scape out of hell
cuz Satan wont free
anybody
a slave to his spell
doubt what I say that I breathe
from my mouth
then you're playing yourself
thats dangerous indeed
cuz pain many felt
when the terrain they could see
created from nothin else
but Greed, Hate n Envy
so don't trade away your key
or you may just remain with the fee
to pay by stayin an eternity
decayin n turn underneathe to clay permanently
cuz your main frame they will empty
the safe - memory bank's what I mean
you'll change from the theif
it's not really crazy
yet it seems strange n obscene

[Hadez]

pretty good. the structure is weird but that doesnt matter. some good rhymes in there, propz

[Global]

Yeah the structure looks like some retarted stairs ,But some pretty hot rhymes in there

[slim sherif]

Nice but weird structure

[Ka0t1c]

thanx for your input, I am gonna work on that, I am starting to figure out the structure more and more now

[C-Game]

thanx for your input, I am gonna work on that, I am starting to figure out the structure more and more now

always write to a beat... then it works out

[Rain Matrix]

writing is tha key in general tha more u work at rhymes tha more tha rhymes will work 4 u, just structure tehm out like they were a settlement payment or not but thats 1 way 2 look at it