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The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

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The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby DjSnax » Jun 19th, '07, 07:34

Just bare with me on a couple of the lines, but yeah I wrote this song in the memory of my great aunt who passed away not too long ago. It's not perfect, it tends to repeat itself, but... yeah.



this is the story of another kid
Indiana, 317, not no crip
I wasn't raised through hell
but God know now I'm livin' it
that's what it's been since you aren't here
by now I should be used to shit
can't help it
God took one of the best in the world
no you weren't rich
you didn't sport no diamonds and pearls
rather give that money up
share it with the starvin' boys and girls
even though it was cigarettes took you away
I can still feel your presents here even today
always right here beside of me
still can't bring myself to toss the pack anyway
but please believe me
when I say I apologize
and I wish I had just one more second
so I could only say goodbye

yeah so
the world is still movin' on
but mine stopped
when I found out you were gone
hard times ahead
ain't new news
I lie in bed
try to gather myself
all I get is tears
wonderin' why you left
and why you're not here
try to get up
try to pull myself along
but yeah
the world is still movin' on

we all knew it was commin'
we all knew we couldn't stop it
but still when I heard
I broke down and fuckin' lost it
hurts just because of so many memories
impossible to forget not one of these
how many times can I say I miss you
and it to have the exact same value
it's just how i feel
every time you cross my mind
so many thoughts playin' in my head
I try to say I'm alright
but it reality
I'm a complete wreck inside
that's only reason I ever try to rhyme
just so I can pour myself out in every line
so please believe me
when I say I apologize
and I wish I had just one more second
so I could only say goodbye

yeah so
the world is still movin' on
but mine stopped
when I found out you were gone
hard times ahead
ain't new news
I lie in bed
try to gather myself
all I get is tears
wonderin' why you left
and why you're not here
try to get up
try to pull myself along
but yeah
the world is still movin' on

your gone now
but I still try to make the best
of every day, every morning
now that you're forever at rest
it's harder some days a little more than others
seeing how you were almost a second mother
taught me so much
in so little time
turn back the pendulum
make the hands rewind
miss you so much I already said it
it hurts and makes me start to cry
and I wish I had just one more second
so I could only say goodbye

yeah so
the world is still movin' on
but mine stopped
when I found out you were gone
hard times ahead
ain't new news
I lie in bed
try to gather myself
all I get is tears
wonderin' why you left
and why you're not here
try to get up
try to pull myself along
but yeah
the world is still movin' on
DjSnax
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby Tash8 » Jun 19th, '07, 07:54

too simple for me, but what i like about it is emotional and from the heart, I always love those type of writing, write to make more complex with more complex lyrics like multis, metaphores, etc.... read the lyrics of papoose, eminem, those lyrically geniuses will help you a lot don't copy their style but just look at what complicated means and don't try to jump to their game too quickly, try to imiprove one skill at a time
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby DjSnax » Jun 19th, '07, 08:57

yeah i really just started writing. thanks for telling me how to improve it instead of just saying "it's too simple you fail at life" (you know those kinds of people). I'll work at it a little more and try to make it better.
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 19th, '07, 18:16

i was feeling it man, its simple in words but deep in emotions n' feelings, keep up the good work, aigght..../

peace :y:
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby Tash8 » Jun 19th, '07, 18:23

DjSnax wrote:yeah i really just started writing. thanks for telling me how to improve it instead of just saying "it's too simple you fail at life" (you know those kinds of people). I'll work at it a little more and try to make it better.


no problem man :D i was there at some point too.
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby Inches » Jun 20th, '07, 03:47

It was deep. Simple and more of a poem, but still nice. Keep at it you got potential kid.
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby Rae » Jun 21st, '07, 02:05

aww that was GREAT!

i can easily say probably about 2 weeks ago i would have just thought it was good.
but sense i just recently lost my bestfriend i know what your sayin.
it extremely hard to put the feelings you have of losing someone into a song.
but you've done it very well.

great job.
im sorry about your loss btw.
screename on Zune Social - HispanicLUVER

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I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby Flamez » Jun 23rd, '07, 08:30

it was deep and simple but yea had emotion and feelings i liked it..
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Re: The World Moves On - dedicated in the memory of my great aun

Postby sinemm » Jun 24th, '07, 11:49

theres not much to say bout it..the others already said enough..

thats deep..

like it..
good job keep up..
LIFE WOULD BE A MISTAKE WITHOUT MUSIC!!
Friedrich Nietzsche
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