felt like doin this

[J Roc]

without you there is only LONLYNESS
id spend my life wit u and ONLY-KISS
ur my second half,your what MAKES ME WHOLE
id worship you until god TAKES MY SOUL
marryin someone else is an DUMB-OPTION
if i did that id also consider ADOPTION
i love no one else LIKE I LOVE YOU
feelin more connected then a DIKE ABOVE TWO [more dikes]
urs is tha best of tha NORTHERN CUNTS
id stick my dick in you MORE-THEN ONCE
i need to bury what my mind KNOWS OF
i was smart enough to have CHOSE LOVE
what people dont see is im ACTUALLY SMART
and with all my rhymez its a FACT-YOULL-SEE ART


just some rhymes i made for someone,nuthin special

[Rae]

aw its good.

one thing is ... you dont have to caps the end rhyming words.
cuz when you read it, it still rhymes regardless if you point it out by capin the words or not lol


keep up tha good work hunn!

[sinemm]

it was romantic till that line
id stick my dick in you MORE-THEN ONCE lol

still nice tho
sincerely

[J Roc]

thanks for readin

i dont usually write that kinda stuff but she makes me feel diferent i think its hapyness for once

[Tash8]

^ dont do that, believe me you'll great it sooner or later and you'll want to shoot yourself for doing it, i've been there... my whole thought is never write about girls unless it's generalizations.. like saying all girls are bitches, or all girls are hot...

anyways, you got a weird but nice flow, your structure is all good, it seemed emotional but corny, multis are aite except this one really confused me:
marryin someone else is an ODD-OPTION
if i did that id also consider ADOPTION

odd-option means a weird, different option, if your gonna show that to her, i'd remove it and change it wtih dumb

DUMB-OPTION, ADOPTION, still a multi , your doing nice, keep it up after you get better at this move on to the next lvel great job

btw please dont capitalize your multis, if you relaly wanna show skill then let people be able to find the multis without you emphasizing them.

[J Roc]

aight ill keep it low on tha writin bout certain girls and see if people get my multies witout makin em stand out

thanks for tha feed tash

[Tash8]

aight ill keep it low on tha writin bout certain girls and see if people get my multies witout makin em stand out

thanks for tha feed tash

np, i'm only saying u shouldnt' write about girls is cuz u might regret it later on...

[C-Game]

good work J
the content is oki

but wat i was impressed of da multi syllable rhymin .. good job mate

[Rain Matrix]

interesting vocab, a decent read, keep droppin

[J Roc]

thanks for tha support rain an game,ill keep droppin sets cuz im not stoppin yet

that was dope^