The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Immortal Powers

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 2nd, '07, 21:37

my unique flow is an earthquake stimulating minds, jesus-like beast came to simulate mankind
a decedent of god with kids who emulate my rhymes acting like my spirit is a goddess's design
but the truth remains i'm godless nor devine, creating emotional lyrics for the brothers to define
but really speaking i'm a lyricist not a saint, discharging lines like a principle expelling who complain
no brothers to compell me to restrain, none would tell me to refrain from using my powers like game


wrote in about 10 min

Please feed :D
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby 4D » Jul 2nd, '07, 21:47

I like it man, cool that you're still working on the meta and similes. This is your best so far n my opinion. interesting too that you made the font smaller to make the lines longer, i`m squintingmy ass off, but it's a different idea, and i`m all for trying new things. I like you're second line the most, just the word use in it or something, clicks with me. Nice job, keep it up Tash! :y:
Image
.......http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=34661......
^^Read The Download Section Rules!!^^
User avatar
4D
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4864
Joined: May 17th, '05, 10:58
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 2nd, '07, 21:52

thanks man :) yea i'm trying to work on everything, taking baby steps to get to you guys level, if that ever happens :whistle:

but yea thx for feed

btw i like my second line the most because of this

a decedent of god with kids who emulate my rhymes acting like my spirit is a goddess's design

i think that the multi being in a different place made it sound a bit more unique and different compared to the usual stuff.
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 3rd, '07, 18:25

bump?
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 4th, '07, 05:46

feed mothafucking cocksucking bitches...

but of course i'm not talking about you, if your feeding :D
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby James R. » Jul 4th, '07, 05:59

Pretty good shit. Nice vocab in this one made for some decent rhymes homie. Keep at it, I can already see some improvement coming from this.
User avatar
James R.
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 5044
Joined: Apr 25th, '07, 20:31
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 4th, '07, 06:13

James R. wrote:Pretty good shit. Nice vocab in this one made for some decent rhymes homie. Keep at it, I can already see some improvement coming from this.


:worship: :worship: thanks a lot man :)
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby 4D » Jul 4th, '07, 09:36

Tash8 wrote:thanks man :) yea i'm trying to work on everything, taking baby steps to get to you guys level, if that ever happens :whistle:

but yea thx for feed

btw i like my second line the most because of this

a decedent of god with kids who emulate my rhymes acting like my spirit is a goddess's design

i think that the multi being in a different place made it sound a bit more unique and different compared to the usual stuff.


Yes you are correct man, that was your best line, that one surprised me, it was nicely put. I thought I'd already said that was your best line in my post, that's weird.
Image
.......http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=34661......
^^Read The Download Section Rules!!^^
User avatar
4D
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4864
Joined: May 17th, '05, 10:58
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby Tash8 » Jul 5th, '07, 18:42

^ yea haha u did, i just told you why it might have been ur fav out of them lol
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: Immortal Powers

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Jul 5th, '07, 22:47

yeh nice work man, keep it up :y:
User avatar
,-,'-{Bar}-',-,
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16978
Joined: Apr 10th, '06, 21:41
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users