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i admit it..

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i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 21st, '07, 20:49

i been stupid i admit it i been going down a wrong road
now i'm bouncin' back strong comin' ready to unload
getting vengeance on my enemies like a meal served cold
takin' a different approach with a war about to unfold
tryin' to withold my anger but i can't i'll explode
welcome to the next episode its the destruction code
i'm full of angry rage mad at myself for being a bitch
all i talked was shit a pussy who was a wimp a lil snitch
now i'm turnin the switch i'm climbin' up instead of being drowned
my life was flipped over on its back but now i've turned it around
trying to start from scratch settlin' down the devil is out of me
the evil demons that were inside of me are gone god is beside me
i'm sorry for not listenin' and destroyin my chances to change
but it was all in my mind i was fucked up inside in derange

cheaa now i feel better...
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Tash8 » Jul 21st, '07, 20:56

not bad, rhymes were decent but their too simple, you had a nice simile in there, the flow was good, umm multis umm i dont think i saw any.. wordplay i dont think i saw any either..

but it's not bad, it goes a point across

k--keep at it
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 21st, '07, 23:56

yea i know its simple but its something haha and thanx man for the feed...
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Rain Matrix » Jul 22nd, '07, 00:51

hell yeah let that out ~good vocab~ p e a c e
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 22nd, '07, 06:46

thanx for the feed rain.. :y:
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Curtis » Jul 22nd, '07, 09:45

good stuff man good work :y:
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 22nd, '07, 16:03

thanx for the feed..
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Re: i admit it..

Postby James R. » Jul 22nd, '07, 17:16

Flow was choppy and the rhyming was simple but it was a good emotional piece. Let it out bro.


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Re: i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 23rd, '07, 04:31

aight thanx for the feed man :y:
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Re: i admit it..

Postby stevethetruth » Jul 23rd, '07, 04:34

good emotional stuff man i liked it :y:
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
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Re: i admit it..

Postby Flamez » Jul 23rd, '07, 04:49

thanx man :8)
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