20 lines

[stevethetruth]

there's so many things i'd love to have
so many dreams people calling me supreme
as if i already hit (shady) the a-team
but people are fake and aren't what they seem
hidden under their shirt covered with dirt
and it's driving me berserk i'm bout to burst
out flip, scream, and shout and redeem
their doubt they say this cause they too want cream
why so mean? Seriously why you gotta diss steve?
this is making me crash physical and mentally
i'm potentially the best and recently blessed
twelve lines later ya'll people still impressed
but you never gonna attain the style i claim
still amazed god gave a gift i appraise
these lyrics here keep me lit for days
i'll crawl under your skin like a switchblade
so sadist ya heard one word and you'll cave
inward and i'll flip the bird leave ya cursed
so never underestimate when i spit a verse
expect the worst even when i'm down and hurt

[Rain Matrix]

pretty good, tha structure was ok but work on putting more lines 2gether 4 tha same reason, thats not 2 say didn't somewhat already

[Flamez]

to me it was good man keep it up

[Tash8]

pretty good, tha structure was ok but work on putting more lines 2gether 4 tha same reason, thats not 2 say didn't somewhat already

structure doesen't mean shit int his case, his lines were really easily readable and it flowed real well, so why the fuck would structure matter?

[stevethetruth]

thanks a lot guys and rain what were you talking about the structure for? i don't get what you were saying?

[James R.]

Yeah I almost completely agree with maybe. There were some decent lines and a lot of good ideas but it was broken down by a severe lack of focus in some spots and it made it dry. Just try and keep your mind striaght.

[stevethetruth]

Yeah I almost completely agree with maybe. There were some decent lines and a lot of good ideas but it was broken down by a severe lack of focus in some spots and it made it dry. Just try and keep your mind striaght.

yeah i read it afew times i agree a hundred percent with you i fell off track a few times

thanks for the feed