"On top or Not"-Feed

[Aft3rmath]

(chorus)x2

These words followed by chokeholds/
lessons learned, swalloed by vocals/
all together make this game so cold/
like dam, I cant get none sold/
this magic is stupid, it usless/
cant imagine usen this music/
will I hold on or just loose it/
is it sold, or do I need new shit/
( you tell me)

When I first started out, I was proud/
without a doubt, my music was just sound/
listening now, your ears bleed as ya head pounds/
beats stream, as this shit echoes off the streets loud/
its been 2 long years since I/
quit the game, man time flew by/
shit, fame is lame, the game is fly/
spit lines, make rhymes, to live and let die/
Im not here to impress, or invest/
just dont fear the stress, Im not the best/
but I do keep this music near my chest/
heart beat bleeds, my soul screams/
my throat aches when I spit these dreams/
its harder than it seems, all you gotta do is believe/

(chorus)x2

These words followed by chokeholds/
lessons learned, swalloed by vocals/
all together make this game so cold/
like dam, I cant get none sold/
this magic is stupid, it usless/
cant imagine usen this music/
will I hold on or just loose it/
is it sold, or do I need new shit/
( you tell me)


So I leave here in peaces/
my soul rests with jesus/
I fell off the top, man I cant believe this/
its deceiving at first, but never stays/
the words I sprayed, played, lost and got delayed/
Now ima quit this game or keep on fightn the same/
what should I do, give up, or get made/

(chorus)x2

These words followed by chokeholds/
lessons learned, swalloed by vocals/
all together make this game so cold/
like dam, I cant get none sold/
this magic is stupid, it usless/
cant imagine usen this music/
will I hold on or just loose it/
is it sold, or do I need new shit/
( you tell me)

[James R.]

It still has that simplicity to it that keeps it from standing out. The flow was pretty good and you kept focus. You had a nice pace of rhyming as well. If you could make your shit a little more complex, even if you just started experimenting with multies it would do wonders for your material.

[Aft3rmath]

Thanx