finally finished with a title thanx to 4D

[Inzanity]

this song is called "She Walked"


I can't sleep at night,
from the pain that's creeped inside
It's too deep to fight,
so I been searching but I can't see the light
nothing seem's alright,
I see her in all my dream's at night
I wanna go back to when she was mine,
but I can't so I use my need to write
to release the cry's,
that are deep inside ,
and the pain that I can't seem to hide
She said she would never leave,
but she did now I'm left with the memorie's
of what will never be,

Chours
I gave my heart to a girl back in 2003
4 year's later she walked out on me
she walked out on me
she walked out on me
she walked out on me
4 year's later she walked out on me
she walked out on me
she walked out on me
she walked out on me
I gave my heart to a girl back in 2003
4 year's later she walked out on me

sleepless night's got me sitting in the dark
weeping eye's with pain ripping at my heart
It seem's like she come's just to go
her hi's mean goodbye's
emotion's come undone in this stressful soul
but I still find the truth in her lie's
she say's one day we'll spend forever
but I know in my heart she really mean's never
I know she ain't coming back
so I'm gonna say fuck the past
cuz' I'm holding on to a dream that's never to come
so u know wat fuck forever I'm done
I'm tired of playing a game that can never be won
so I'm saying goodbye forever my love


Chours

I let u play with my heart I let u play with my mind
u tore my soul apart it was a waste of my time
I love u but it's time that I say fuck u, and goodbye to friday
I can't deal with the pain I keep locked inside
and there's nothing that can stop the cries
dream's will never come true,
memorie's never fade no matter how bad u want them too,
and u'll never love me the way I love u
in life u alway's have to settle for less then wat u want
and no matter wat u alway's have to deal with the stress of wat u lost
and unitl it's gone u never know wat u got
but I guess that's just the cost
and the price u pay, in life these day's
in order to fight the pain

Chours

[shady4life!]

that was good shit man but u shud a put the finished version so we cud see how it end. The second verse is a lil short tho. Maybe u cud make it longer. I like the chorus a lot, it reminds me of the beginin of Dreams. Anyway in short good job man Im just suprised nobody else has commented yet.

[Inzanity]

yea I'll make the second verse longer and once I'm finished I'll post the full song.

[Inzanity]

*Bump* any replie's from anyone else would be appreciated

[4D]

Damn that was really good, very impressive, the best I think i've seen from you. I don't usually like the corny ones about love etc, but this was different. It wasn't all like ah fuck you ya prick etc. It seemed really genuine and from the heart, which is always something you seem to capture. Also, unrequited love is a very universal thing which most people can asociate with, so that's also a good reason why most people will like this. But you haven't forgotten to be technically good either. Great poetic structure and even some nice multi's. Congrats on a job well done.

One question though, I always thought you were a girl, if so, are you a lesbian? No hate, just wonderin'.

Also, how about the name "She Walked". That seems like a good one for it. I would tend to pick the words from the text that best explain the song.

[Inzanity]

well yea I'm a lesbian but anyway thanx for the idea on wat to call the song I had a hard time coming up with a title for this one. I think it's cuz' my creative skill's are declineing I haven't been writing alot lately so I've been losing my creativity but I'll deffenitly use that as a title. Thanx man.

[4D]

No problem, glad ya like it, don't feel pressured into usin' it though, was just an idea. And congratz on your openness, sorry if I spilled the beans.

[Inzanity]

na u didn't spill the bean's lol

[SajN]

Wow...thats was really good!!!!

I actually liked it!

U're good, keep writing like this

[Inzanity]

thanx man I'm glad u like it.