Flat On My Face

[Tash8]

Beat: G-Unit - Poppin' Them Thangs

I love it when these bitches underestimate me
it gives me the hunger to impress who hate me
but know I'll explode on those who press me greatly
I been trying my best lately to improve my skill
but there's been a slight few whom could tell
the others annoy me till i scream and yell
till i land flat on my face with my dream expelled
but i seem compelled, to just get back up and write
learn from my mistakes and take them to what i write
if i ever change, i will come back in a true form
forgetting everything like I was a new-Bourne
have all the haters masturbate to me like I'm porn
and as I grab my pen, i ink to you like a storm
i don't consider myself near the elites though i am topping myself every time you hear me speak
ready for every insult ready for every critique
ready for feed as long as you bring me heavy meat

i don't consider myself near the elites though i am topping myself every time you hear me speak

the reason it's structure like that, because you rap that with no pause at all..

so please feed and i will return the feed

[Rain Matrix]

well u gave me honest feed man and I appreciate that

tha flow was on point, I liked tha multi's that transcended bars, I like tha snap back at haters type theme, but know that tha only one u have 2 impress is u, but 4 tha record this was really good

[4D]

Not bad man, I like the fact that you are saying something. About improving and the hunger to keep trying and to not give up. I would tighten it up in a few places though, for instance the 2 lines back to back rhyming the word "Write", i`m sure there are different ways you could have did that. Also to maybe watch your syllable count on your multi's. Even if your not aiming for exactly perfect multi's, by not having the same syllable's rhyming you are throwing off the flow.
E.G:

ready for every insult ready for eve-ry cri-tique
ready for feed as long as you bring me heav-y .....meat

See what I mean you are missing a syllable, and it's throwing off the flow, and ruining some good multi's. I wouldn't worry too much about the structure, but you should work on editing your rhymes. Don't just post them as soon as you've done 'em. See where you can tighten up the structure, improve the flow, or change words to show better vocabulary. And keep on improving and you will be among "the elite", I think your will power is your best asset.

[Tash8]

thanks 4d but yea that multi wasn't meant to be one haha...

i was just making a wordplay for wanting feed, meat but yea i get ya

and i had to write about something because i haven't written anythin in about 5 days.. so yea

thanks for the feed

and thanks rain and yea i hear you

[Flamez]

it was pretty good tash..

[Tash8]

gracias senor