Quick free style, Feed please!!

[Aft3rmath]

My words cause catastrophe/
first they looked, then people laughed at me/
I'M starven them ta blast ill melody's/
createn fine lined, sharpen one of a kind similes/
rippen apart verses like a flesh eatn disease/
just leave me be so I can feed in peace/
write these lyrics freely, ta make the max enemies/
lockem up so I can throw away da facts and da keys/
these paragraphs are written to rid rats and da thieves/
the complexity is here to stay boy, it was meant to be/
skull fucks ya brian and screws with you mentally/
until at night u can no longer sleep/
ya choke on the pain, you can barley breath/

I been starting to take some of the advice people have been giving me, tell me if it somewhat makes a difference.

[shady4life!]

yeah its okay im feelin the flow but i didnt really understand it too well. Wats ur point? No really can u explain it better to me so i can understand wat was like the freestyle ment to be about, or was it just rhymes.

[Kojack]

This is my style, but i did not liked it

don't say, dann i got this losers style

Remember that i'm the brother of one of the best rappers in here, if he is not the best
and i got a perfect style

[Kez]

Remember that i'm the brother of one of the best rappers in here, if he is not the best
and i got a perfect style

[Tash8]

Remember that i'm the brother of one of the best rappers in here, if he is not the best
and i got a perfect style

[Kojack]

My brother whyling. Lmao. Kez why u laugh little kid? You think you are better than lil Cojack, dont you?

[Ka0t1c]

good attempt at rhyming words together, ur almost a rhymer, but a rapper... keep trying but use something of meaning... here have some beer... thats like truth syrum...

[Flamez]

it was ok just keep working on it

[Aft3rmath]

Funny, kojack wouldn't say that to anyones face if this was real life, especially mine because I would fuck you up personally. becasue ur bro is good doesnt make u good man. Honestly think u need to find a new romodel like ur mom and go do the dishes son and let ur bro make the beats and rhymes, hes a lot better at it.

[CaptivatingVokalz]

The flow is smooth...the words glide together well BUT the words fall of subject...since this is a "quick freestyle" your pardoned for certain mistakes... but to master the art of spittin...make sure you choose a topic in your head...what point you wanna bring across when you open your mouth... then align the words to paint a perfect picture...not a confused one...get it... the message wasn't clear to me... you tryin to tell people what a rap savage you are... or how you became a savage when they laughed at you... hope this helps next time.

[Enimee]

see the point of the style invoked by my man aftermath here was not necessarily meant to get any certain point across he's jus mixin mad flow wit mad rhymes...it wuz def sick there was only one line i didnt like way to step it up bro



and uhhh alll the other pointless comments on da mans shyt...like wow do dat stuff in pm guyz

[Aft3rmath]

Thanks Enimee and Vokalz, I been working on it real hard, but haven't had time to really practice because of my job, but expect some more shit from me.

[Kojack]

Funny, kojack wouldn't say that to anyones face if this was real life, especially mine because I would fuck you up personally. becasue ur bro is good doesnt make u good man. Honestly think u need to find a new romodel like ur mom and go do the dishes son and let ur bro make the beats and rhymes, hes a lot better at it.

Im flattered. Thing is, fucking up my brother personally would leave you with 24 hours of life. So i suppose its a lovely thing all this happen through a board and not in eachother's city or sumthin.

[Aft3rmath]

Stop acting like you live or have lived the real hard life ko-fuck, because you haven't and I know this, I was raised in Detroit, joined the Marines killed about 50 people, and now I am back here in USA, go kill someone with justified actions, before you kill us with your sad rhymes you bite off your brother, if he is your brother. Another thing is no matter what city you live in or were you come from, don't write checks with your mouth your fists cant cash.

[Kojack]

Juss to let u know, i am kojack's brother and i wrote the comment above u. Kojack didnt live the hard life, i lived it so that he wouldnt have to live it.