My 1st rap

[killmaster56]

I was just haveing fun with this one what do you guys think?




You guys know how to kill a great beat
So take a mother fucking seat
Saying "me to" isnt a hook
So open up ur books and learn to rap on the beat u took
U try and say u made it urself, Do i look like im on dope
Nope, i dont think so now this is what u gotta do
If you dont wana get booed
Go out get a new beat
then go take a seat
and write a rap
that isnt wack
then when ur writeing that rap
take a nap
cause i know your shit will still be wack
U dont even rhyme, Or have any flow
Why do you even show------ up to the studio
That should be a no go
so next time write some new lines
then come back on a shitty track
and try to be the king of rap


Shoot stab kill that muta fucker
you running ur mouth but i dnt wana hear it cocksucker
ever word i spit is felt
my beats so hot you melt
once you call me out things will never be the same
im the next white rapper to hit this game
youre amazed when you hear my flow
I rap so good it make your head expload
you jelous, you cant spit the same
thats why im getting all the fame
YNR you guys better learn to spit
cause all the words u saying is just shit
i shoot YNR up in the sky
While scream die motherfucker die die
and now your dead
with nothing left but a bullet in your head

[Ka0t1c]

im just glad u said that is ur first rap, it is very basic, unoriginal and you definitely need improving... i think u can be a whole lot better if u write what's real instead of the bologna...

[killmaster56]

ha ya i know its not very good but im only 14 so i just started writeing. I wrote that 1 in just a few minutes. Tips or anything that would make me better would be appreciated

[J Roc]

http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=3377

a tutorial^^it helped me out a bit

but first thing id do is start gettin used to multies

example::

i pop pills-faster then kill-master,though its still-badder
i grill-bladders and will kill-slackers to ill-rappers

"-" shows where the multie is...after you get used to them,try gettin used to other thing like wordplay, metaphores and other things like that
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your drop was "ok" but it seemed like you found a word an tried to rhyme every possible word with it...its better to just make sure your rhymes arent to "overplayed" in your drops...after a few rhymes id switch to a different word to rhyme with

[Tash8]

http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=3377

a tutorial^^it helped me out a bit

but first thing id do is start gettin used to multies

example::

i pop pills-faster then kill-master,though its still-badder
i grill-bladders and will kill-slackers to ill-rappers

"-" shows where the multie is...after you get used to them,try gettin used to other thing like wordplay, metaphores and other things like that
-----------------------------------------------

your drop was "ok" but it seemed like you found a word an tried to rhyme every possible word with it...its better to just make sure your rhymes arent to "overplayed" in your drops...after a few rhymes id switch to a different word to rhyme with

multis aren't where you should start,

first, start with flow cuz that's real important, second pick up a dictionary or thesaurus and learn new words cuz ur words were to repetitive, one thing i can suggest is USE Natural Vocab but NOT simple vocab...

then start simple by rhyming more complex words not necessarily multi but like slant rhyming cuz slant rhyming opens up the rhyming game soo much. then start working on what j-roc said.

[killmaster56]

i pop pills-faster then kill-master,though its still-badder
i grill-bladders and will kill-slackers to ill-rappers


ha that was sick J roc. I understand the multipuls better now


and what do you mean by slant rhyming if you could fill me in thanks

I actually found this site right here

http://www.rhymer.com/

you type a word you wana ryme and if will give you a bunch of words that rhyme with the word you typed. Then if you dont know what the word means it with look the word up and show you what it means so its pretty cool. But i wrote those verses in just a few minutes to diss that group. Ha the used the I get money beat and said that they didnt steal it that they made it themselves. So i just put something to gether really quick. I am gonna write something a bit better but for my first one i think it was pretty good

http://www.myspace.com/ynrmovement

the myspace link isnt me its the group i dissed

[Tash8]

okay, the rhymer is a good way to start so that's fine

but slant rhymes are like

LINE, RHYME, those aren't straight rhymes there slant rhymes another is:

JOKE
HOAX

[killmaster56]

ok and how do i get my flow better examples or suggestions would be appreciated

[Tash8]

ok and how do i get my flow better examples or suggestions would be appreciated

first tip is get the same number of syllables on the same line, that usually would do it for beginning writing.. but after that you might want to focus on also where the "silent" syllables hit and then make sure in the next line to keep a similar pattern.

[killmaster56]

ok thanks