The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 2nd, '07, 05:16

(written to eminem's crazy in love)

verse 1:
it's insane the way we change our minds so quick
go back and forth of course this just adds to the mix
saying i'd regret it down the line i'd never take back this
i'd remember every hug every story every single kiss
every day spent together forever i'll keep it inside
your the eyes i look forward to when trying to unwind
your 22 i'm 19 people acting like it's a crime
you did jailbait once and have yet to done your time
kinky in bed chains cuffs and whips just playing
or am i hiding the truth in it of what i'm saying
you loving the thug i bring out in this hoodie
guys staring all at your shit knowing he not should he
and if they gonna pull a kris they better come equiped
loving the jealously glares you stare down all chicks
who dare to even try to fly under your nose and steal
the only thing real from you and still say the deal
is gone and wiped you my life cause you won me over
wrong's what you hear when people know we've gotten closer
ignore haters they just envy and mad of the bond we have
you make me glad know that your the reason for this rap
if you ever fall i'll be there for you to hit my lap
and yes it's like that inflicting your addicting like crack
if their were no you i wouldn't beable to sleep at night
and your the reason i seem to wake up so early and bright
rub ya face ta get you goin' scream and moan in the zone
the emotional attachment i have with you i'm never alone
never bored always amused never got a short fuse
when i'm with you i can't help but stare at those baby blues
it's the little things you do that keep me going sane
i can't stop thinking of you i hope things never change

hook:
but no matter what happens to the two of us
i will always be there more than enough
and maybe this means i'm starting to feel love?
and jen maybe i'm just crazy in love

verse 2:
i'd go insane heart in pieces ripped torn up inside
if you left me here i'd break down and bawl my eyes
your my reason for living my reason to breathe
if there were no you i would have no reason to be
i can't picture life without you i would just die
whatever rules you set i'm more than willing to abide
i promise i'll never change my ways and remain so sweet
i'll keep my charm top notch an' sweep you off your feet
never miss a beat cause i care about you that much
i love your touch you drive me nuts and this is love
it is what i'm feeling when i think about you too
my heart melts just seeing you smile back my boo
fuck the shoes take em off throw me on the bed
the way you aggress it's hard to keep a level head
however you want it babe you got it very bad
never mad i'm happy with you i'm never sad
love seeing your smile and the happiness i bring
i'ma prove you wrong this isn't just a fling
listen jen, i wanna let this expand and grow
i wanna beable to hold your hand stand and go
you mean everything to me girl can't you see
the girl of my dreams the one i want to be, with


hook:
but no matter what happens to the two of us
i will always be there more than enough
and maybe this means i'm starting to feel love?
and jen maybe i'm just crazy in love
Last edited by stevethetruth on Oct 4th, '07, 04:21, edited 7 times in total.
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: 26 lines

Postby Tash8 » Oct 2nd, '07, 06:00

not bad, but have you stopped workin on multis?
User avatar
Tash8
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 12522
Joined: Feb 19th, '07, 20:04
Gender: Male

Re: 26 lines

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 2nd, '07, 14:33

thanks,and nah this piece was for my girl, so really there's no reason to have multies lol
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: song i'm working on

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 2nd, '07, 18:06

bump, please feed if you can :worship:
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: song i'm working on

Postby C-Game » Oct 2nd, '07, 18:28

yea man its a decent drop.. a good meanin overall.. except for da BDSM fetish :)

could hv been a lil complex considerin this is a rap

it flows well ...

other than dat ma only complaint was da lack of complexity...
User avatar
C-Game
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7930
Joined: Jul 24th, '06, 19:02
Location: THRONE of the KING OF KINGS
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 2nd, '07, 21:27

thanks for the feedback man :y: :happy:
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby sinemm » Oct 2nd, '07, 23:42

i dont look at the multis rhymes or stuff like that
but it has the "feeling"
i loved some lines..some r deep sme r so sweet :wub:
and shes lucky to be the theme of a song like that
i loved it
good job hun
LIFE WOULD BE A MISTAKE WITHOUT MUSIC!!
Friedrich Nietzsche
User avatar
sinemm
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7544
Joined: Apr 20th, '06, 12:59
Location: Turkey/Istanbul
Gender: Female

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 3rd, '07, 00:31

thanks a lot sinem :) :D
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 4th, '07, 03:40

thanks alot sarah :D :y:

bump :y:
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby cellphonesweetheart » Oct 5th, '07, 02:58

im new to this whole song writing thing but i just wanted to tell you that i think this is really good :y:
cellphonesweetheart
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 4th, '07, 22:26
Location: new york
Gender: Female

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby Curtis » Oct 5th, '07, 03:11

stevethetruth wrote:[b]your 22 i'm 19 people acting like it's a crime

oh damn
Image
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Curtis
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1624
Joined: May 14th, '07, 08:52
Location: Puerto Rico
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby ThomasAguanis » Oct 5th, '07, 03:56

Sarah wrote:Aww that was nice, well done. She'll love it :y:

:y:
B.K.A. The King of Kale A.K.A. The Superfood Sensai
I still rap better than you.

Image
User avatar
ThomasAguanis
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 5857
Joined: Jun 22nd, '05, 22:14
Location: New Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby stevethetruth » Oct 8th, '07, 01:42

thanks alot for the feedback guys :y: :)

bump :y:
http://www.myspace.com/stevethetruth <-- my myspace add me!!
User avatar
stevethetruth
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: May 27th, '06, 02:06
Location: wherever, whenever
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby SajN » Oct 8th, '07, 10:38

Nice Song :D

Have you showed it to her yet ?

I think she will love it!
! Is He Nuts? No, He's InSajN !
User avatar
SajN
The Almighty
The Almighty
 
Posts: 14943
Joined: Oct 19th, '06, 18:04
Location: Norway
Gender: Male

Re: Crazy in love (finished, please leave feed)

Postby lostdaze18 » Oct 9th, '07, 01:04

I just wanted to leave a comment to tell you how much this really means to me, every line holds a memory of good times that I will never forget. You are an amazing person and i couldnt have asked for anymore. ~I love You ~
User avatar
lostdaze18
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Oct 3rd, '06, 02:23
Location: Middle of Nowhere R.I
Gender: Female

Next

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users