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New Verse For A Mic Pass

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New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Nov 5th, '07, 19:56

move back the fucking war is here,
i have you other rappers left stalled in fear
there aint no stalling here i just fall in gear
n then blaze the track in ways that amaze the facts
like fiction n i flow with no friction, just inflicting a quick sting,
coz you are missing the point you got to kick in the joints
n make your track go together no matter the weather
you got to stay aware n always prepare, coz i declare
your better to beware coz im the threater of despair
with contagious flows, its outragious though
that my lyrics are obssesive possesive, and agressive
so even on a 5 minute writtin verse, im still impressive,
the pressure i posses is just a measure of succes
so its my pleasure to impress you and to progress to,
n on that note the war is coming through, no-one can defeat us
you can just participate by sending troops in,
or just anticipate the end when its grim,
but when we collide in battle, its us that fried the cattle
n if you a little bit slow that means burn the beef,
ha ha, im gone a gave ya'll enough greif.



a verse i wrote for a mic pass, i wrote it pretty quickly and the flow isnt on note with the structue so i tried it help it out with puncuation :sweating:

anywae, feed please :y:
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby Steve Spag » Nov 5th, '07, 20:09

I liked it a lot man. Had a pretty sick flow to it, rough as you said, but I liked it. A wide variety in vocabulary and it matched well with what you were saying.

Keep it up :y:
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby °[~CHR!$~]° » Nov 5th, '07, 20:22

yea kool vocab man...cant wait to hear it
flow was "strange" ...ryt? :p
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby Tash8 » Nov 5th, '07, 22:20

i dunno man, when i listened to ur other verses, like the racist thoughts, your lyrics seemed cleaner to me..

first, it seems like your rhyming words cuz they rhyme and your changing what your trying to say to match the rhymes... i might be wrong but that's what it kinda sounds to me

second, your rhymes are simple; fear, gear, here, point, joint, etc

just some advice.. no disrespect
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Nov 5th, '07, 22:44

Tash8 wrote:i dunno man, when i listened to ur other verses, like the racist thoughts, your lyrics seemed cleaner to me..

first, it seems like your rhyming words cuz they rhyme and your changing what your trying to say to match the rhymes... i might be wrong but that's what it kinda sounds to me

second, your rhymes are simple; fear, gear, here, point, joint, etc

just some advice.. no disrespect



they seem cleaner coz there concepts, as in this is just a verse for a mic pass, so it has no concept apart from the usual MC "im the sickest" stuff, i agree thought cleaner concept verses are always better lol :happy:

and man if your gonni comment on the rhyming, yeh there's simple rhymes in there but you cant comment on saying my rhyme swere simple when your overlooking the bigger ones

the pressure i posses is just a measure of succes
so its my pleasure to impress you and to progress to


with contagious flow, its outragious though


and maybe you missed it but the joints fear gear rhymes are parts of multis

i have you other rappers left stalled in fearthere aint no stalling here i just fall in gear


simple multis yeh but not as simple as one sylyble rhyming :sweating: also word playing with a car stalling and a car falling into gear then goin across the track

dunno if your just missing it or if i aint puting it forward correctly


and i dont want anyone to think im just posting like this coz i didnt get positive feedback i apreciate everything anyone says, but i feel you shouldnt just put the whole thing down as simple rhyming when it isnt, i mean pro's and cons are constructive feed back you cant say one and not say the other lol :p


anywae thanx for the feedbakc ya'll :worship: :worship:
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby Tash8 » Nov 5th, '07, 23:08

yea i saw them bar,

but the reason i didn't mention the more impressive multis are because you already knew they were impressive, not point of me repeating right? ;)

and back to original tpic

stalled in fear
stalling hear
fall in gear

like i was saying stall, fall, in, ing, in, gear hear, fear all simple rhymes.. all i was saying is even though their multis, it doesn't show A LOT of complexity

but yes, u had some great rhymes in there like the ones you pointed out...
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Nov 5th, '07, 23:15

Tash8 wrote:yea i saw them bar,

but the reason i didn't mention the more impressive multis are because you already knew they were impressive, not point of me repeating right? ;)

and back to original tpic

stalled in fear
stalling hear
fall in gear

like i was saying stall, fall, in, ing, in, gear hear, fear all simple rhymes.. all i was saying is even though their multis, it doesn't show A LOT of complexity

but yes, u had some great rhymes in there like the ones you pointed out...


yeh true but the way you worded it just sounds like your ignoring them and focusing on the downside lol :sweating:

and its kool imma work on it some more before recording :happy:

thx again for the feed :worship:
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Re: New Verse For A Mic Pass

Postby Arabian Shady » Nov 7th, '07, 19:12

u advised me to keep it simple sumtimes, i guess thats how u implement it! :p
i liked it, id DID have a few rough edges but then agn as u say"concepts there"
nice work bar :y:
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