First Time

[Robbie G]

Ha ha yup first time i've tried writing something to paper.

When it comes to rhyming im one of the best,
Just a notch above the rest,
Can't compete with me,
You'll see, cuz I float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee
The only reason I ain't dropped before,
cuz i don't want you poor, little kids to have your feelings hurt,
and make ya feel like dirt
Get no inspiration from 50,
but listenen to shady's lyrics lift me,
up, so good luck
cuz if you wanna fuck,
wid me ur gunna pay a hefty fee

Thoughts?
I know it's not good, but I have to start somewhere. Constructive criticism please.

[Rain Matrix]

yur flow was on point

rhymes were simple but well used

could have been a lot worse... lol good job

[SajN]

It's ok

Yeah. Everyone must start somewhere. So u did it well
Simple rhymes, but that's ur first shot so it's ok.

[Arabian Shady]

believe it or not i actually thought the ali line was funny, well put,lol
but use ur imagination , try puttin normal things in a different way, i mean use bigger words, they create a big effect
keep tryin
peace

[Robbie G]

Thanks Guys.

[Steve Spag]

Like everyone else said, simple rhymes, but they were effective. I liked how it turned out. The flow for it is sick and it just sounds really cool. Keep that shit up

[Tash8]

idk what people are saying, but i dont see a flow.. this sounds like a dr suess type book thing.

the first thing you need work on is vocab, cuz that was very unoriginal, then worry about flow thenw orry about rhymes..

good luck and when i first started i did worse so no worries,.

[lostdaze18]

i like it, i think it's pretty good for a first time

[Robbie G]

Thanks guys, looking back it's shit.