Lot of Thoughts! !*UPDATED*!x2

[SajN]

BUMP..

Common .. Please feed..

[SajN]

I have written a bit more..
I don't think I will write more to this..

Please feed now

[Arabian Shady]

nice shit man
u can improve, try readin some english magazines or sumthing that will help u use bigger words
theese big words will cut out short insignificant words
nice 1
peace

[SajN]

nice shit man
u can improve, try readin some english magazines or sumthing that will help u use bigger words
theese big words will cut out short insignificant words
nice 1
peace

Thank you
And I do. I read english books and write english essays (home-works)

More feeds ?!

[Rain Matrix]

I liked tha physical descriptions of yur emotions and some of tha rhymes u used were really nice

there was a couple times tha grammar was a little off a couple times but not really enough to notice

props keep droppin

[SajN]

Thanks for the feed Rain
Yeah .. sometimes I have a couple of mistakes in english. But as you said, it's not really enough to notice.

I'll drop more.. But this rap is finished.. I'll start something new:)

More feeds:)

[C-Game]

I tried to relax, laid on my bed.
Looked at my plaques, prayed to be dead//
Listened to my tracks, my eyes' still red//
My mind collapsed, I acted like a pillhead//
My nine's cracked, wanted to shoot me instead//
Don't want to get elapsed, keepin' myself a step ahead//
Now I'm trapped, look where it led//
Stucked in this crap, didn’t manage to fled//
I tried to let it be, but it went into me//
It was like my destiny, dying as a slow fading symphony//
Smokin' the same three, known as a choking emcee//
All I did, didn't take place as I thought//
a brawling kid, hidden face, being distraught//
It was somethin' I sought, couldn't figure it out//
My blood pumpin, I fought, wouldn't turn to bigger shit now//


Some english mistakes?

well u hv mentioned some english mistakes.. well da only one i cld find was the bolded one
i couldnt manage to flee.. but it doesnt rhyme

well other that it was ok...
the flow was here and there.. sometimes it was a lil off..

do u write to a beat ?

[SajN]

Haha.. you know what.. For some minutes when I read my text again, I saw that sentence. I knew it was wrong. It's weird I didn't see it before..

But Thanks C-Game

No.. I didn't write to a beat. Don't know how to do it.. Never done it before.

[C-Game]

Haha.. you know what.. For some minutes when I read my text again, I saw that sentence. I knew it was wrong. It's weird I didn't see it before..

But Thanks C-Game

No.. I didn't write to a beat. Don't know how to do it.. Never done it before.

no doubt ur flow is off..

its simple ask some one to make a 4x4 beat with around 85 tempo with no melodies
or simply use an exisitin beat..


and make sure each end rhyme goes with the last beat...
if u can do dat den u can do other weird stuff wit the beat..

[SajN]

Haha.. you know what.. For some minutes when I read my text again, I saw that sentence. I knew it was wrong. It's weird I didn't see it before..

But Thanks C-Game

No.. I didn't write to a beat. Don't know how to do it.. Never done it before.

no doubt ur flow is off..

its simple ask some one to make a 4x4 beat with around 85 tempo with no melodies
or simply use an exisitin beat..


and make sure each end rhyme goes with the last beat...
if u can do dat den u can do other weird stuff wit the beat..

I see.. Thanks for that
But I doubt anyone will make a beat for me... I did request that a while ago.. Noone said anything..

[Steve Spag]

Pretty good man, the flow is still a little off, but I like it. Keep it up.

[SajN]

Thank you Steve
I always appreciate ur feeds

[SajN]

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