The Future [Edited]

[SajN]

First fully added.

I am working on a song and here is the first verse.
I am writing to the Lose Yourself beat, but not writing like how Lose Yourself is made.
Try to rap this to the beat and you'll see what I mean about the "Beat fully starts". it's like the last sentence Eminem says before "Bloah".

[Verse 1]
"How you gonna live is like Deck of Cards.
Choose the wrong, and the life's Wrecked Apart.
Pull yourself Together, don't be a Messed up Retard.
You can Do Better, sometimes it gets really Hard.
But you're the only one to fix the Broken Heart
Do what you can, to fix the life’s Chosen Art.
Do something out of your life, try to be Smart.
Don't wait longer, life’s already about to Start.

-Beat Fully Starts-

Every another Tick can Turn out be a big Chance
Be Quick, and you can Learn from the big Change
It might be Strange, out your Range, just don’t Faint
You can Fight the Rage, it don’t matter the Age,
You can Escape from the Cage, and leave your Past
Leave your Place, and you can go Far, and you can be Praised.
Just follow your Heart, do your Best,
And you can be Blessed to do whatever you want!"

This is an updated verse, I had something else some time ago, but I have changed it.
Hope you like it.

[Steve Spag]

Good drop man, I liked it. Didn't have the beat on this computer to rap along to, but I got the flow. Keep it up man, I like it a lot.

[SajN]

Thanks Steve
I think this is the first time I've ever got the flow right lol
I barely have time to write everyday, so it might take time when it's all finished.

[Rain Matrix]

...a ninja appears

this was fucking nice
pretty nice

... tha ninja disappears

[SajN]

Thanks man

I don't have the whole concept in my head yet. So I would prefer some ideas

More feeds!

[Wallace]

For while it's good

[SajN]

Thanks man

More please ?

[Ka0t1c]

this was nice, dont give up on this one....

[SajN]

Thanks man
I'm not going to give up.


More feeds..
Common guys, don't be so shy

[SajN]

Ok.. Now I have changed a bit.
So please feed

Anything needed.
Crititsm or praise, your choice

[Enimee]

rawr
its decent

[SajN]

Thanks you

More feeds people.

[Rain Matrix]

I seem to remember it being good tha first time I checked this out
I swear I could practically hear tha beat in my head

it's real nice now... definitly audio worthy with more rhymes

[SajN]

Thank you

I am going to record this, just have to finish the song first.
But I don't think I'll use the Lose Yourself beat.. What'cha guys think ?


More feeds !