One verse, tell me what you think.

[Jay-19]

I walk down the road slow, see no one I know
Spot a bum in the alley, all coated in gold
A mute man screams, like he's loaded to blow
I see beautiful women, get rejected by men
And geeks with the jocks, respected by them
Americans crash houses in the middle-east as
Big corporations fall apart like little pieces
See Jesus turn out to be a regular guy
I find tales to be true, and see Dracula fly
See criminals change, and jail free prisoners
Some start to talk they used to be listeners
The clock goes back, to skip the world wars
And people surviving jumps from 63:rd floor
And people all around get freedom of speech
See hate destroyed, from Sweden to Greece
I see guns get buried, to never be used
I see presidents talk, on a level of truth
And A-Rod sharing his money with the team
The dreams you have can really break you apart
And you walk around straight for 8 days without talk

This is going to be used on a mixtape, so what do you guys think?

[Jay-19]

22 views and not a single opinion?

[Rain Matrix]

not bad by any means

just needs a little tidying up

[Jay-19]

Ok, thanks for the feed!

[Arabian Shady]

that was tite,
i did have some problems gettin da flow at some points.mayb the beat goes wid that
i dunno kno, but that was gd,specially da ending
gd 1,post the track so we'll kno betta
peace


also, can u feed mine,"half mast"

[Tash8]

damn that was nice man

my only complaint was this line:
See hate destroyed, from Sweden to Greece

made no sense, sense there isn't that much hate compared to tother places, it seemss u only did it cuz it multi rhymed

[Hadez]

yet another meaningful submission

its good killah. im feelin it. my only issue (and this is only if i wanted to be anal about it) is "gold" and "blow". im well aware of altering pronunciation a bit to rhyme words. but pronouncing "gold" like "blow" is a pet-peeve of mine for some reason.
but like i said that's bein extremely nit-picky since i didn't really find anything else wrong with it . its a great drop. keep doin'em like this

[Jay-19]

damn that was nice man

my only complaint was this line:
See hate destroyed, from Sweden to Greece

made no sense, sense there isn't that much hate compared to tother places, it seemss u only did it cuz it multi rhymed

Yeah I see what you mean, but believe me, there's alot of hate here in Sweden. Especially hate aimed at immigrants. However Greece have a problem with alot of hating, I don't know, but it rhymed well with the line before so.. But thanks for the feed.

And @ Hadez, I feel you on what you're saying, and I used to point that out. Not in English though, but in Swedish. But I feel like it's easier to write those kind of rhymes in English, but in Swedish it just sounds messed up. But thanks for the feed!

[SajN]

A really nice verse, you did it great with rhymes, and I am feeling the verse
In overall great drop, and keep 'em coming

[Jay-19]

Thank you NoN-Stop!

[SajN]

"Inte no problem"

Translate: No Problem. (Was it right Swedish? I am from Norway)

Could you feed mine too? The Future..

[Jay-19]

"Inte no problem"

Translate: No Problem. (Was it right Swedish? I am from Norway)

Could you feed mine too? The Future..

Almost right, correct Swedish for that would be: Inga problem/Inte några problem