Last Time

[Tash8]

when was the last time i gotta out of bed
and noticed my wallet hada dollar to spend
i spent my last check on stupid things
now i'm all tied up and the rope ain't loosening
i feel so discouraged, empty and hopeless
the dope's blinded me, now i'm mentally exploited
the pain's in my blood, and it just wont leave
now i'm full rage, cause it brings relief
and the things i see, are making me so crazy inside
and lately it's like, i wanna make me cry
i hate me but why?
the music changed me and turned me wrong
i'm at satan's tomb, getting lashed by fiery balls
hurry, hurry
every time i breath, i release some life
i say to myself, please don't die

[SajN]

You have a good piece there, but I've seen better from you.
I seems like you didn't put a lot effort into this verse.
But it's a good work

[Rain Matrix]

lash them fireballs right back at him... lol

nice job

[Ka0t1c]

i like the concept, i'd try to improve this if u run into writer's block

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

this doesnt gel as much as your other peices man, usually your rhymes just flow smoothly here it feels a little forced, there's also a couple of lines that sorta just pop up n throw it off

the music changed me and turned me wrong
i'm at satan's tomb, getting lashed by fiery balls

that was nice

only being critical coz your of a high standard.

but apart from the above, the rhymes themselves were nice and the content was good man

[Tash8]

thanks guys, i def feel what u guys are saying..

thanks

[Xray]

like i said before this shit is a movie