my version of kanye west's "hey mama"

[patwivo]

im performing this at my talent show for my school in march
my mom thinks im doing a different song but im gonna surprise her with this
im also doing the fort minor song "where;d you go" with this chick
let me know what you think, please comment
i changed some words and kept in others


Chorus
I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz im so proud to do this special song for you
I know I act a fool, i promise you that i'll keep my cool
I appreciate what you allow for me, I just want u to be proud of me

I wanna tell the whole world about a friend of mine, this little light of mine
im gonna let it shine, im gonna take yall back to them better times
im gonna talk about my momma if yall dont mind
we can talk about anything and youll let me know what you think
I take in the good advice that you speak, and you provide the love that i seek
and you always told me that im so unique
you empower me with every word, your positivity makes me free as a bird
you taught me that its okay to stray from the herd when i felt so alone and so hurt
and u never put no man over me, and i love u for that momma cant u see?
not along ago, you had tears in your eyes, and when i found out why, i started to cry
as we knelt on the kitchen floor, i said momma imma love u till u dont hurt no more
and when im older you wont have to work no more and imma get you that mansion that we couldnt afford
wonder woman, you're so strong
you work two jobs to keep the cable on
so everybody just sing along as i tell you how much i love my mom

chorus

your momma named you Dawn cuz u rise like the sun
you taught me how to have so much fun
that's why i always have a smile on, im the baby of the family, your youngest son
but now im grown up and im so polite, you taught me my manners
your my light that guides me through all the bad times
your my grade A glasses when im blind
come on momma stand up and let me see
you're like a book of poetry, maya angelou nikki giovanni
turn one page and there's my mommy
I'll never put anybody above you i wrote this song because i love you

[Steve Spag]

Pretty sick dude. I really liked that first verse, pretty powerfull stuff, and it sounded good. The second verse was good but it could do with a little improving. Keep it up

[Rain Matrix]

well u still have time for revision
but it wasn't all bad
it was good enough for any mom I know
unless she is a rap enthusiast
then I'd do a remix

[Ka0t1c]

i respect that, keep it real

[patwivo]

thanks a lot guys