My pen bleeds

by **Emadyville** » Sep 30th, '08, 19:48

I just wrote this, not sure about it, so of course just looking for some feedback.

My mind sees letters as they form words,
Words form lines that then form a verse,
Verses mean nothing until there’s a hook,
Then songs form and songs fill my book,
These songs get changed, rearranged and cut,
Until I’m thinking of a new line and stuck,
On one rhyme that doesn’t fit the content,
And when I’m done I read and it’s nonsense,
So I scratch it and rework some other verse,
Make it final, memorize it and rehearse,
Then spit for a friend to see what he thinks,
All from my pen cause my pen bleeds the ink,
Then I hit the studio ready to record,
Time is money, only a few takes I can afford,
The search for feedback, listen and re-rap,
I just redid this whole track let’s recap,
Let’s get it out to see what they think,
I bleed rap…just like my pen bleeds ink…

by **Urban Punk** » Sep 30th, '08, 20:39

NICE! My favourite part would have to be...

On one rhyme that doesn’t fit the content,
And when I’m done I read and it’s nonsense,
So I scratch it and rework some other verse,
Make it final, memorize it and rehearse,

You had some nice vocab in there keep it up dude :y:

by **Emadyville** » Sep 30th, '08, 22:22

Thanks man, appreciate the feed.

by **<Stiiccy>** » Oct 1st, '08, 02:33

i love how you kinda talked about the forming of a song...
that was really creative and i thought it was really dope

overall i think you are the most creative writer here...
really really nice bro

by **Emadyville** » Oct 1st, '08, 02:41

sticcy z wrote:i love how you kinda talked about the forming of a song...
that was really creative and i thought it was really dope

overall i think you are the most creative writer here...
really really nice bro

Damn, thanks again.