NEW - I Hate You (UNDONE)

[Solace]

Lol looking back on this, it's fucking ridiculous.

[Emadyville]

I don't know man, I'm curious to hear it as opposed to reading it, but the lyrics just seemed to childish i.e. "I just wanna smack your cheek" and "You're a disgrace to the entire human race". I mean it could be real diff depending on how you sound and deliver it, that's just my opinion. And the rhymes were very simple too.

[Solace]

Thanks Im going for a "Kim"ish song just less..."Kim"ish So ill try to somewhat yell it but while rapping.

And the rhymes were very simple too.

So when you say that should i do things such as use wordplay? Metaphors, smilies etc.?

Thanks for reading that.

[Ka0t1c]

You burst out in laughter at random,
And then you yell at everyone, throwin' a tantrum?

thats the only part thats worth keepin in my opinion

[Steve Spag]

Yeah, not your best stuff, but still alright man.

Keep at it.

[Solace]

Yeah, not your best stuff, but still alright man.

Keep at it.

Thanks. Yea i know ive done better, apparently this needs major reworking. Its really just to get my delivery up (since its all anger) so yeah, but i want it to be good at the same time.

You burst out in laughter at random,
And then you yell at everyone, throwin' a tantrum?

thats the only part thats worth keepin in my opinion

Alrighty, thanks for checking it out.