NEW - Dead Rose

[Solace]

I started this while listening to Spend Some Time

[Chorus]
I wish I had known sooner, wish I'd known from the start,
The cold being you were, now you have my heart,
I hate you, and yet I still want you back,
I need someone to hold me before I start to crack.

[Verse 1]
I aint a complex guy but I ended up dating you,
Im a fool, and now ive ended up hating you,
The red of our love is now fading to blue,
Your a traitor too, loving other guys in the neighborhood,
What'd you mistake me for? A seashell in the shore?
I ain't that but i'm the whole beach taken over by a whore,
You were the tsunami and you took me down,
Look at me now, there aint no happiness to be found,
You made me wait hours, but i still waited,
It didn't take me long to notice that you were changing,
Now my whole life is rearranging, your a stranger,
Ever since the start I guess I was in danger,
So ive pondered, what in the world made ya,
have the lust and anger to burn through me like a laser,
Electrocute me like a taser, cut through me like a razor,
Now i hate ya and I cant stand ya...But I guess I'll see you later.

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2]
Everyday at school I'd smile when I saw your face,
Now I aint got no one, in my book you were erased,
I felt misplaced, wasted, I felt like a disgrace,
I guess I chose my path and I'm walking through it my own way,
But now what do i do, what do i do?
I can barely walk down the streets without thinking about you,
And i see you in halls, i just want to grab you,
hug you but at the same time i wanna bitch slap you.
whack you, make you cry, but make you smile,
my hearts confused, this make take me while,
Id buy you chocolates but you threw them away for no reason,
Id pick em from the trash, sit down, and eat em,
You tortured me, trapped me in cold cages,
Bitched at me and let loose all of my rages,
But i tried to control them at least for my heart,
Painting a confused picture, yo rap is my art.

[Chorus x2]

[MC Anonymous]

Great job! I enjoyed the extra work you did on this. It shows.
Rating = 8
Keep it up!

[Solace]

Great job! I enjoyed the extra work you did on this. It shows.
Rating = 8
Keep it up!

Thanks im really glad it was good!

[Requiem]

i think second line of chorus should be
"the cold being you were, now you have my heart"
flows better, also "now fading to blue" sounds better... also "you took me down" forgot me in line....

that's all the gramaticals i found. great verse, good to see some heartfelt mush from u. yes i said mush. lmfao, a relationship song. ur tracklist just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
great drop by the way

[Solace]

i think second line of chorus should be
"the cold being you were, now you have my heart"
flows better, also "now fading to blue" sounds better... also "you took me down" forgot me in line....

that's all the gramaticals i found. great verse, good to see some heartfelt mush from u. yes i said mush. lmfao, a relationship song. ur tracklist just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
great drop by the way

Yeah i know, i re read it after and im like oh whoops but didnt wanna edit it, ill edit it when i put in the 2nd verse Im glad you liked it, and i needed some mush lmao This might be on my tape if i take some other track out, which i should since this is the rare love track that comes from me lol. Anyways, thanks and peace

[Slim Zaddy]

[Chorus]

I wish I had known sooner, I wish I'd known from the start,
The cold being you were, now you took my heart,
No more love inside me, my soul is dead,
Ripped up like my self esteemed, my soul had bled.

[Verse 1]
I\You were the tsunami and you took down,
Look at me now, theres no happiness to be found,
You made me wait hours, but i still waited,
It didnt take me long to notice you were changing,

WOW MAN,, I LIKED IT .. WELL FOR ME I LIKE TO WRITE ABOUT THESE THINGS,, SO U DID A GOOD JOB,. THESE ARE THE LINES THAT I LIKED THE MOST,, WELL LYRICS AND RHYME ARE GOOD... TRY TO BE A LITTLE BIT ROMANTIC IN VERSE 2 .. I WANT TO SEE HOW FAR U CAN GO INTO THIS .. GOOD DROP ...

[mcZu]

Great piece mayn, liked the emotion in it, the similies and the use of words
Can't wait to read the second verse.

[Solace]

[Chorus]

I wish I had known sooner, I wish I'd known from the start,
The cold being you were, now you took my heart,
No more love inside me, my soul is dead,
Ripped up like my self esteemed, my soul had bled.

[Verse 1]
I\You were the tsunami and you took down,
Look at me now, theres no happiness to be found,
You made me wait hours, but i still waited,
It didnt take me long to notice you were changing,

WOW MAN,, I LIKED IT .. WELL FOR ME I LIKE TO WRITE ABOUT THESE THINGS,, SO U DID A GOOD JOB,. THESE ARE THE LINES THAT I LIKED THE MOST,, WELL LYRICS AND RHYME ARE GOOD... TRY TO BE A LITTLE BIT ROMANTIC IN VERSE 2 .. I WANT TO SEE HOW FAR U CAN GO INTO THIS .. GOOD DROP ...

Thanks for the feed man! Im happy you like it, and yeah ill get more romantic, talking about how we were before and stop the hatred kinda stuff.

Great piece mayn, liked the emotion in it, the similies and the use of words
Can't wait to read the second verse.

Thanks man, im glad you think its great.

[MC Anonymous]

A lot of emotion in the second verse, I perfect mix of vocab and bluntness.
I loved it, I would give it a 10/10
Great great job!

[Solace]

A lot of emotion in the second verse, I perfect mix of vocab and bluntness.
I loved it, I would give it a 10/10
Great great job!

Wow man 10/10!!! Im so happy you liked it, and it means a lot coming from a writer like you

[The Toy Soldier]

i relate to it alot like the first verse more

[Requiem]

the 2nd verse is sick!!! it was just an absolutely wonderful picture of a twisted relationship. loved the whole throwing chocolates away, and u'd go back and eat em. it was f*cking genious. nice job bro. this is SO goin on ur tape

[Slim Zaddy]

[Verse 2]
Everyday at school I'd smile when I saw your face,
Now I aint got no one, in my book you were erased,
I felt misplaced, wasted, I felt like a disgrace,
I guess I chose my path and I'm walking through it my own way,
But now what do i do, what do i do?
I can barely walk down the streets without thinking about you,
And i see you in halls, i just want to grab you,
hug you but at the same time i wanna bitch slap you.
whack you, make you cry, but make you smile,
my hearts confused, this make take me while,
Id buy you chocolates but you threw them away for no reason,
Id pick em from the trash, sit down, and eat em,
You tortured me, trapped me in cold cages,
Bitched at me and let loose all of my rages,
But i tried to control them at least for my heart,
Painting a confused picture, yo rap is my art.

[Chorus x2]

this verse was way better than the first ,, i'ts wicked man ,, honestly i liked it all .. flow, rhymes , nd your punsh- lines and multies were good pal ... keep dropping

[mcZu]

Second verse was sick, more emotion then the first one.
Liked the ''loving her'' yet '' wanna slap her'' mood you had in there.
This would make a great song if you decide to record it,
keep up the good work

[Solace]

i relate to it alot like the first verse more

Thanks man. I want you to drop more shit so i can feed it, i know your keeping your rhymes to yourself till your great but i wanna read some pieces!

the 2nd verse is sick!!! it was just an absolutely wonderful picture of a twisted relationship. loved the whole throwing chocolates away, and u'd go back and eat em. it was f*cking genious. nice job bro. this is SO goin on ur tape

Thanks man, ill take something off and put this on. Yeah i really like this too. I love that its fucking genius Im so proud of this piece, really.

[Verse 2]
Everyday at school I'd smile when I saw your face,
Now I aint got no one, in my book you were erased,
I felt misplaced, wasted, I felt like a disgrace,
I guess I chose my path and I'm walking through it my own way,
But now what do i do, what do i do?
I can barely walk down the streets without thinking about you,
And i see you in halls, i just want to grab you,
hug you but at the same time i wanna bitch slap you.
whack you, make you cry, but make you smile,
my hearts confused, this make take me while,
Id buy you chocolates but you threw them away for no reason,
Id pick em from the trash, sit down, and eat em,
You tortured me, trapped me in cold cages,
Bitched at me and let loose all of my rages,
But i tried to control them at least for my heart,
Painting a confused picture, yo rap is my art.

[Chorus x2]

this verse was way better than the first ,, i'ts wicked man ,, honestly i liked it all .. flow, rhymes , nd your punsh- lines and multies were good pal ... keep dropping

Thanks, im glad this was a really good piece for you, and ill keep dropping some sick stuff

Second verse was sick, more emotion then the first one.
Liked the ''loving her'' yet '' wanna slap her'' mood you had in there.
This would make a great song if you decide to record it,
keep up the good work

Thanks, and i guess i AM gunna record it. That emotion is very true for many relationships, and with me with one girl. Im glad its sick man, and thanks for checking it again.