NEW - Make It To The Top

[Solace]

Actually tis not new, this was one of my first pieces. I re did some parts, just wanted to know how you think of it

[Verse 1]
I can feel the pressure, I just want to impress,
I want to be a rapper, but I just feel like less,
No matter how hard I try, there’s just no progress,
I guess I’ll never meet the day in which I meet success
Fame, money and respect...To most it’s just a dream,
Some days, sometimes, it just makes me want to scream,
Get on the mic and then choke on the stage,
Don't know 'bout you but I ain't on the right page,
But sometimes we don't even need to give up,
Cause life is life, and its what we need to live up.

[Chorus x2]
Get a paper, writin' just to make it to the top
I want to be a legend of rap and hip-hop,
I want to be one of the greatest,
Rappers who ever did it, and rappers who ever made it,
Keep my chin up, Im never gunna stop,
Not until the day in which I make it to the top.

[Verse 2]
Sometimes I feel just depressed and simply crazy,
Anger building up because every girl plays me,
But it’s all I can get in this life full of shit,
Going to grab the tounge of critics and make them swallow it,
I'm wrapped up in anger and fights with my parents,
I scream for no reason and others are just staring,
This is life for me, this aint no fucking game,
It aint no fucking joke, I aint fucking playing,
I'm generic man, I'm just a fish in the sea,
Dreams of aweing people with my tsunamis,
Of wordplay and punches, Soon you'll see,
I'm going to be the best of my ability.

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3]
Go to school, people think I'm blessed with luck,
Cause I got some videogames, well I don't give a fuck,
They don't know shit about me, or my parents,
With my mother screaming, I'm just so embarrassed,
Bestfriend asks "Yesterday man, who was screaming?"
"Never heard any of that, you were probably dreaming"
But I ain't trying to put all my problems on your shoulders,
Just need someone to talk to, to get rid of these boulders,
It just goes to show ya, I ain't gunna give up,
Not until the day in which I host a stick-up.

[Chorus x2]

[Requiem]

nice shizzz man, even tho i already knew most of it lmao, like the changes, makes ur rhymes seem more complicated. i like it. the point is more clear now, also, i like the hook alot. lmao

[James R.]

I liked it man. I felt the emotion in that. Always good to see some emotion in a song. I like the concepts and the lyrics. Nice drop man. Keep it coming. 7.5/10

[lilrossy]

i liked were you were goin wit dis. never read the first version, but i really like dis one. it flowed really nicely. keep it up man

[Slim Zaddy]

nice drop from ya man ,chorus was hot .. i like it cuz it's emotional , emotions rhymes were great in the 1st and 2nd verses , nd these what i like the most ,, lyrics and flow was fine , 8 / 10 ... keep droppin ,, gd luck

[Urban Punk]

Reading it reminds me a lot of lose yourself thought I loved the flow the only advice I could give you would be to bulk up your vocab, all the same I really liked it… keep it up

[Solace]

nice shizzz man, even tho i already knew most of it lmao, like the changes, makes ur rhymes seem more complicated. i like it. the point is more clear now, also, i like the hook alot. lmao

Man the hook was a big failure in the old one, "not shit like soulja boy and jt", i just really didnt like that line so i redid most of the chorus And yeah i think its more clear too, thanks for the insight! Cant wait for Dec. 15

Thanks to the rest,

@lilrossy, if you want to see the old one, heres the link: http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=48800

@Urban Punk, everyone is saying to get a better vocab so i guess i really should.