Three Stages of Death

[MC Anonymous]

Song ---> http://www.zshare.net/audio/57948595239f37cf/

Lyrics:
When I awoke, I spoke of the ancient terrors within
spittin' the truth, yet no one around wanted to listen
I then spoke of the evils, the horrors, the demons inside
though nobody cared, nobody gave my preachin' a ride
the room span, I coughed, the spit turned to blood
blood slipped into oil, the combination burned the rug
people scattered, I was alone, burning inside my soul
I guess that's what you get when your only bride's a coal
The fires came closer, my eyes became older
before the pain hit I was already smothered in smolder...
I awoke, encaged with intangible chains
muzzle wrapped around my mouth kept my mandible tame
I saw a man, headless, blood leaking out with drips
the closer he gets, the closer I'm about to trip
silently pacing, body demented as it violently shaked
I saw flesh tormented and at that time,
my eyes and knees quaked
I screamed in despair, then I felt a hurried tap on my back
I heard a faint voice, it was seeping through the cracks
I feel the man's body heat, It's wrapping around my neck
then the voice boomed, just like the sound of techs....
I awoke again, I look around my surroundings
shaking with tears in my eyes, my heart still pounding
I hear someone talking to me, yet I can't respond
my mind chant's a song, yet I can't sing along
I feel the tapping, the temple knocking in my mind
yet for some reason, my mind isn't talking with my spine
I'm lost, I can't move, I can't feel you there
I'm awake in life, and only in dark I'm aware
objects materialize, I see my wrists slashed
blood dripping down, walls around me bashed
I look behind me, to see who was trying to bring me back
nothing, I am an angel but it's wings I lack....

[Spyder]

i thot it was pretty sick shit man

[MC Anonymous]

i thot it was pretty sick shit man

Thanks dude

[Xray]

Wow man you stepped up HARD. Flow was incredible man, like on another level from your recent stuff. Emotion was marvelous, I felt the lyrics big fucking time. You flowed perfectly on every line except these:

I saw flesh tormented and at that time,
my eyes and knees quaked
I screamed in despair, then I felt a hurried tap on my back
I heard a faint voice, it was seeping through the cracks
I feel the man's body heat, It's wrapping around my neck
then the voice boomed, just like the sound of techs....

^^The way you structured it just didn't flow with the beat at all. But the rest was really good man. Your pronunciation sounds slightly better, but it still needs work. I really liked this song man, I'm keeping this, cause the beat and the lyrics is just majorly underground. If you re-record this song a few more times, it'll be perfect 100%.

Flow: 8/10, due to those lines I mentioned and cause you still need more work, you need to be more confident. Cause it sounds like your nervously flowing, so it sounds shaky sometimes.

Emotion: 10/10, it was just perfect, you meant every single word, and made me concentrate on the lyrics 100%, so I felt it. Great job.

Pronunciation: 7/10, you lisp when you spit, and that's due to you not pronuncing the words like how you normally speak. It's like you spit from the tip of your tongue if you get me?

Overall: 8.5/10. Great job, but you can do better if you re-record. Your best song.

[MC Anonymous]

Wow man you stepped up HARD. Flow was incredible man, like on another level from your recent stuff. Emotion was marvelous, I felt the lyrics big fucking time. You flowed perfectly on every line except these:

I saw flesh tormented and at that time,
my eyes and knees quaked
I screamed in despair, then I felt a hurried tap on my back
I heard a faint voice, it was seeping through the cracks
I feel the man's body heat, It's wrapping around my neck
then the voice boomed, just like the sound of techs....

^^The way you structured it just didn't flow with the beat at all. But the rest was really good man. Your pronunciation sounds slightly better, but it still needs work. I really liked this song man, I'm keeping this, cause the beat and the lyrics is just majorly underground. If you re-record this song a few more times, it'll be perfect 100%.

Flow: 8/10, due to those lines I mentioned and cause you still need more work, you need to be more confident. Cause it sounds like your nervously flowing, so it sounds shaky sometimes.

Emotion: 10/10, it was just perfect, you meant every single word, and made me concentrate on the lyrics 100%, so I felt it. Great job.

Pronunciation: 7/10, you lisp when you spit, and that's due to you not pronuncing the words like how you normally speak. It's like you spit from the tip of your tongue if you get me?

Overall: 8.5/10. Great job, but you can do better if you re-record. Your best song.

Wow GOOD LOOKS on the detailed feed. I will definetly rerecord this.

[Solace]

Holy shit...Agreed you stepped the fuck up. Mixing was nice, delivery was nice (cant say much to be improve it). Lyrics, you already know I felt it was intense. Beat choice nice. I agree about the flow SaJJad said, those couple lyrics weren't on flow. But the rest was

If you DO re-record its def. going on the channel. If not this version will be on it.

Damn dude your improving like a mofo. Youve been rapping for like 4 months

[MC Anonymous]

Holy shit...Agreed you stepped the fuck up. Mixing was nice, delivery was nice (cant say much to be improve it). Lyrics, you already know I felt it was intense. Beat choice nice. I agree about the flow SaJJad said, those couple lyrics weren't on flow. But the rest was

If you DO re-record its def. going on the channel. If not this version will be on it.

Damn dude your improving like a mofo. Youve been rapping for like 4 months

Thanks man, appreciate it

[MC Anonymous]

Bump

[DelinQuent]

overlays need work for sure, when i fuck mine up i just cut them up and place them in the right spot, give that a try.

flow doesnt really match the beat too well but it's a decent flow

best line in this was "my mind chant's a song, yet I can't sing along " props for that, dope ass line.

lyrics were a step down from your normal but i enjoyed these much more simply because i prefer simple lyrics over complex ones.

overall 7/10, not bad, not good, but decent. keep at it

[MC Anonymous]

overlays need work for sure, when i fuck mine up i just cut them up and place them in the right spot, give that a try.

flow doesnt really match the beat too well but it's a decent flow

best line in this was "my mind chant's a song, yet I can't sing along " props for that, dope ass line.

lyrics were a step down from your normal but i enjoyed these much more simply because i prefer simple lyrics over complex ones.

overall 7/10, not bad, not good, but decent. keep at it

Thanks man

[Requiem]

listenin now

the intro is sick as shit, u outshine the beat so much man.

the verse is insane man, and ur flow is u stepped up so much since ur last track, this makes ur verse on ax-d's shit look bad
holy shit i love it man, its slow and sick as hell. great pronunciation, and its some head noddin shit. love the "song and i can't sing along" line.

lmao, GREAT JOB man,

most defnly ur best track to date, now i kno why u were angry at me puttin out a crappy song cuz u've stepped up, so i gots to step up wits u

[MC Anonymous]

listenin now

the intro is sick as shit, u outshine the beat so much man.

the verse is insane man, and ur flow is u stepped up so much since ur last track, this makes ur verse on ax-d's shit look bad
holy shit i love it man, its slow and sick as hell. great pronunciation, and its some head noddin shit. love the "song and i can't sing along" line.

lmao, GREAT JOB man,

most defnly ur best track to date, now i kno why u were angry at me puttin out a crappy song cuz u've stepped up, so i gots to step up wits u

Thanks for the feed bro

[slimsoxshady]

good track man you really stepped up the flow imo...also your mixing has gotten better with each track i've heard from you, 8/10

[Solace]

most defnly ur best track to date, now i kno why u were angry at me puttin out a crappy song cuz u've stepped up, so i gots to step up wits u

maybe its cause youve been rapping for like 2 years longer than him and he outshines you

PWNED WIKKA

Sorry I just had to

Is it gunna be re-recorded? You said so before but then you went on an did Battle My Enemies so I'm guessing youll just do other tracks or what?