When I Make It

[TripleNineThree]

Please drop some feed!! I'll return the feed if you need it

http://www.zshare.net/audio/6065061234b497e7/

Verse 1
THe motivation in my eyes is provin that I'll go get mine
I'm just lookin for the prize I'm not lookin to get high
...The things that I dispise keep on goin in my mind
I'm tryin to live a christian life so the day that I get signed
...I'll use my money right by usin it to end the poverty
I'll get my goal in sight and turn away from doin robery
...Walkin to the light so these hatas do not bother me
See I don't wanna fight and no I do not need the lottery
...I'm unashamed man and yeah thats how it oughta be
You don't know my name you just know I murk a lotta beats
...Through the pain you know I'm fightin thru the storm
I'm tryin to get it thru ur brain so that your above the norm
...The rappin ain't a thang and the money is the horns
It will get up in your brain and keep on stabbin like a thorn
...That is why with fame people keep on goin crazy
And we headin towards the flames so I'm beggin god to save me

Verse 2
If you tell me that I can't I'm gonna tell you that I will
You're gonna fall I'm gonna stand cuz lyrically you know I'm ill
...I'm being what I am I don't need to get a mill
Cuz You know I gotta plan and my dream will not be killed
...I'm goin straight ahead and I'm passin all the obstacles
Until the day I'm dead I'm takin hatas out my optical
...My face is red cuz everyday I'm always droppin flows
No matter what is said u know I'm never gonna stop or slow
...So till my end I'm gonna spit it on the mic
And this game I'm gonna mend with my pen I'm gettin bright
...Until I be a ten for this respect I'm gonna fight
See I Don't wanna be like them thats why I'm doin what I like
...I've been rappin for a year and you hear that I'm alright
Cuz I'm always stearin clear away from beef n all the stress
...Never havin fears cuz with god I am my best
And as I go through all the years I'm not wastin any breath

Verse 3
See you know I'm stayin strong put my soul into my lyrics
So I'll keep on pushin on as I'm buildin up my spirit
...Listen to the song all the truth you're gonna hear it
Yeah I know that I've done wrong but my past I wanna clear it
... To everyone I've hurt I promise that It will not happen
Got your back like I'm a shirt and thats the reason that I'm rappin
...Music is my work so I love it when you're clappin
And I'm whipin off the dirt wide-awake I'm never nappin

People I Fed - http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic. ... a&start=15 - http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=61527

[TripleNineThree]

uppin for feed..

[mcZu]

Loved the song dude, deep shit. Lyrics are above average, could have been a bit more complex, but it's aight how its now. Beat was fresh, liked it. Flow on spot, smooth and matched your delivery.
Overall a dope song, I enjoyed it.

[Solace]

Damn dope track. Wasnt feeling that kinda chorus but whatever personal taste. Everything else was really good. Delivery, flow and your voice is good. Nice track dude. Good lyrics. Def. gunna pay more attention to your tracks from now on

[TripleNineThree]

thanks for the feed guys! if you want me to return it jus drop a link!

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

as usual i love your rhyme pattern....
mixing could be a bit clearer but cant blame you...
hook is actually nice and catchy...you filled the hook well with those "echos" lol
flow is a bit fast for this kind of track imo...i could see a more laidback flow on it
but you did good anywayz...was decent too...
overall decent track..defo an improvement... keep them tracks coming

[TripleNineThree]

thanks for the feed man!

[Kez]

Don't like the hook. Doesn't seem to even fit with the context of the song itself.

Beat is crazy.

Flow's sick. Lyrics are deep shit, rhymes themselves are pretty basic though.
Delivery sounds like you slurring a bit on the S's, not sure what it is.
Sounds mixed well-enough.
Concept has been done a thousand times, (including by me myself ironically) but yeah pulled it off pretty well here.

Good track.

[Mr. Chambers]

this beat was pretty good.........

yes this has been done b4...but everyone's stories and styles aren't the same...so its nice to hear it form everyone once and a while.......only real complaint is maybe make it a lil more complex lyrically...................but its nothing that ruined the song...........

[TripleNineThree]

thanks for the feed everyone!