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Word-Valium

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Word-Valium

Postby threeandtwenty » Jun 3rd, '09, 05:40

Hello people,
new song,download or to just listen:

Word-Valium
http://www.divshare.com/download/7555954-f44
Word-Valium.mp3

would appreciate opinions,thoughts,production tips especially.


Lyrics
Intro x3
oh not again
i black out now & then

Verse
feel it happenin now,its happen again
i black out wake up murdering friends
theres somebody in my bathtub,all bloody
got paint stains all over my blue hoody
shoulda been at a pub with five buddies
shoulda been at a pub with five buddies
theres a saw by the door it wasn't there before
four friends of mine lying sprawled on the floor
and on the wall is scrawled in what i think is blood
you're reading my mind and now you're feeling my love
think i killed a dog too,whose arm is this
it has a mom tattoo,maybe its the druggist
went to the pharmacy insane for pain killers
see his arm a knee,a neck in a stain coller

Hook x2
im still very afraid to fall asleep
i need valium 7 days of the week
fuck amnesia,give me a coma
because my stigmas hidden till i speak on a stanza



vicodin morphine overdose on codeine
memories of pre-teen,conditions were foreseen
for a second i wondered is this all a dream
suddenly i cant stand the smell of gangrene
vague memories a voice screaming jesus please
a lead pipe on braces breaking through the teeth
on my way to the doorway i come across an ash-tray
(bang my head with dread) as another scene replays
a syringe lays in it,a girl calling my name
turn around and feel pain like a frekkin mygrain
chained somebodie's knees to a tank of propane
laughing as he called me insane again and again
taking off my blood soaked nike shoes
theres a screw in my brain more than slightly loose
sometimes i wanna die but no body will help me
thoughts of suicide coz hell is more than likely

whisper
one day ill come out
and never go back in
we can still be friends
till the killin begins

Hook x2


:b:
whose arm is this?..i must've cut it off at the pharmacist
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby Slovinec » Jun 3rd, '09, 05:58

its alright man nice, but i suggest talking about something eminems hasnt
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby gutawafang » Jun 3rd, '09, 09:20

Cool beat man. Nice for the lyrics you make. But yeah, Valium again?
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby °[~CHR!$~]° » Jun 3rd, '09, 12:34

your delievery is very nice man...good one
flow was messy at some points..could be more tighter...
pronouncation was allright at least with the lyrics lol...
but what the fck was you thinking with that singing...lmao...dont do that ever again! :flower:
yeah delievery went into the right direction...keep it up...
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby TripleNineThree » Jun 3rd, '09, 18:35

you needed to prounounce some of the words better other than that it was straight

But you need to aim for originality, you talked about almost the SAME exact thing as eminem just with different lyrics, so aim for originality but other than that it was straight

Keep it up fam!

Think you could return the feed? - http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=61775
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby threeandtwenty » Jun 5th, '09, 10:49

thanks for the feed people

i can see how its similar to eminem but its not the same...im not talking about taking drung and blacking out,im talking about being afraid to fall asleep (and killing friends).but yeah it is kinda similar,every mad serial killer song is.
also,i wrote this song right after the first time i heard 3am.wanted to do something along the same lines.

°[~CHR!$~]° wrote:but what the fck was you thinking with that singing...lmao...dont do that ever again! :flower:

ive always been a rock star at heart :happy:

waiting for more feed :whistle:
whose arm is this?..i must've cut it off at the pharmacist
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby Kez » Jun 10th, '09, 15:10

threeandtwenty wrote:i can see how its similar to eminem but its not the same...


threeandtwenty wrote:also,i wrote this song right after the first time i heard 3am.wanted to do something along the same lines.



Just proved yourself wrong in the same post.

Song isn't bad actually, the beat is insane and the flow aint bad, the delivery decent and lyrics are alright, but the lyrics themselves are way too similiar to Eminem for me to really consider it as a song on it's own.
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Re: Word-Valium

Postby threeandtwenty » Jun 10th, '09, 20:06

thanks for the feed kez,appreciate it.and clarky too.

Kez wrote:Just proved yourself wrong in the same post.


lol,the complexities of language are too subtle for me.im a retard.but yes i understand,played out.
the next song wont be
whose arm is this?..i must've cut it off at the pharmacist
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