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Writing therapy

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Writing therapy

Postby momentsgolden » Apr 9th, '12, 18:59

Link of Feedback- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=144212&p=1883863#p1883863
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=143758&p=1883861#p1883861
I've always strayed from posting or viewing in this section but just wrote a note and thought ya'll could like it.
I’m maintaining the distance so I can keep you close
Sometimes love leads to suffocating loss
You see, its not that I don’t love you
Its because I want to love me as much as you do

Self obsession propagating primitive pride
Is as bad as loathing what I see inside
It’s a fine line to stride…
Just hope you’ll be there for me if I get to the other side

The most dirt I see is that I do
I’m happy that you still remain without a clue
Hoping to cleanse it before you do
Fuck, I pray I do

Its lies that ambition alone define the person
They look at the results and there lies the question
Is a human as great as his most monumental moment
Or worth the result of his moment of weakness

They say the tempting is virtual
No, this Habitual craving is manifesting in the physical
Clouded thoughts make it easy to act
Carry on with what my mind expects
My soul finding it hard to equally react

Rope, pills or gun were never an option
Suicidal thoughts always brushed aside with abandon
But still I stand here with no viable solution
Maybe writing this will point in a direction…
Last edited by momentsgolden on Apr 9th, '12, 21:10, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby Spyder » Apr 9th, '12, 19:48

link of feed please
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby momentsgolden » Apr 9th, '12, 20:15

Spyder wrote:link of feed please


umm... :unsure:

I wrote this and its my first "production"
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby ShAdYTiLIDie » Apr 9th, '12, 20:20

What he means is you have to comment on someone elses piece and give advice, criticism, or show that you are active in this section and then put the link to your post in the thread.
"Shady said it Shady meant it, I stay demented, Ill throw a stroller at you, with a baby in it"
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby momentsgolden » Apr 9th, '12, 20:34

ShAdYTiLIDie wrote:What he means is you have to comment on someone elses piece and give advice, criticism, or show that you are active in this section and then put the link to your post in the thread.


oh! Well, will go through the rules soon and comply
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Apr 10th, '12, 07:01

I liked it. :y: I assume it's not really supposed to be a rap verse, so I won't be all critical. I enjoyed it, so check back here more often!
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby momentsgolden » Apr 10th, '12, 07:08

JamaicanPattlez wrote:I liked it. :y: I assume it's not really supposed to be a rap verse, so I won't be all critical. I enjoyed it, so check back here more often!


i've always thought that i'd never write raps since it hurts me to tell people who suck that they have no chance. But, please, be critical... maybe i might just pick it up lol
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Apr 10th, '12, 16:38

momentsgolden wrote:
JamaicanPattlez wrote:I liked it. :y: I assume it's not really supposed to be a rap verse, so I won't be all critical. I enjoyed it, so check back here more often!


i've always thought that i'd never write raps since it hurts me to tell people who suck that they have no chance. But, please, be critical... maybe i might just pick it up lol


Well, the thing is, people will tell you that you suck in anything that you start to do. Nobody's born with lyrical talent where you're able to rhyme multies on multies lol. So just work on it. Some are haters, and some will be friends that legitimately want you to improve. What I've noticed with this piece is that some of the lines don't flow well, so try working on that. Also, some of the bars don't rhyme with the other ones you have up, so you have to work on that, unless you're shooting for something I'm unfamiliar with lol. But yeah. The secret word for gaining any skill is practice lol, that and you have to WANT to improve. :flower:
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby momentsgolden » Apr 10th, '12, 17:41

^truth! Appreciate it
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Re: Writing therapy

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Apr 10th, '12, 17:57

Yeah man! Feed my new piece btw. :) viewtopic.php?f=24&t=144533
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